Scrubs (TV Series)

My Drama Queen (2003)

Sam Lloyd: Ted Buckland

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Perry Cox : Captain Clip-On? Did you go ahead and tattle on me?

  Ted : Oh, please, with the shocked look. Newsflash -- I'm sterile!

  [Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso both look at him in odd surprise] 

  Ted : I mean gutless!... My guys swim in circles. I--I think it's the bike-riding.

• Dr. Bob Kelso : Sooo, Ted! How is Professor Cox doing?

  Ted : Excellent, sir! And you know what else? I quit!

  Dr. Bob Kelso : No, you don't.

  Ted : Well, I'm leaving early today!

  Dr. Bob Kelso : No, you're coming back to my office and doing busy work!

  Ted : Fine. But I'm getting a soda first!

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Whatever.

  [Dr. Kelso leaves, and Ted raises his arms over his head in victory] 

• Ted : See, Dr. Cox, this is, uh, the sort of hostile behavior that can cause us legal difficulty.

  Dr. Perry Cox : [whistles]  Ted! I just might rip that tie off your neck and jam it down your esophagus.

  Ted : I think you proved at Nurse Roberts' above-ground pool party that that doesn't solve anything.

• Ted : Okay, gang! Before we begin, Dr. Kelso wants me to remind you of the legal ramifications of all your teensy snafus.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Teensy snafus? Good God, Ted, it's not a Dr. Seuss story!