Scrubs (TV Series)
My Day at the Races (2006)
Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid
Quotes
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Elliot : How's it goin'?
J.D. : Well, my bike is rusty, I haven't been able to feel my genitals since they first touched water, and the only thing I've had to eat all day is a half a jellyfish. Why are you here?
Elliot : Can I talk to you about Jake?
J.D. : It's a dangerous topic. Talk to Carla.
Elliot : Yeah, anytime I talk to Carla about a guy, she tells me to marry him so the four of us can go to dinner together.
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Elliot : This Jake thing is still really bothering me.
J.D. : Elliot, you know our rules.
Elliot : Yeah, I've been thinking about that. Who wants to have a superficial friendship? I mean, God, do you remember how close we used to be? Dealing with Dr. Cox, dealing with our screwed-up families, talking about everything? I miss that.
J.D. : This is working.
Elliot : Not for me! I wanna be able to tell you that my boyfriend really freaked me out.
J.D. : Well, if he freaked you out, why don't you go talk to him?
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J.D. : All right, fine, Elliot. You wanna know why? You're just like me. You're scared because you feel like you haven't accomplished anything with your life. But instead of running a triathlon, you're pushing forward with a guy you don't belong with. And you know as well as I do, one of these days he's gonna open up a bottle of white wine for you when you really prefer red, except you never told him that; and you wanna know why? It's because he's not right for you, Elliot. Are you happy now?
Elliot : You're pretty smart for a guy running in bike shoes.
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Jake : Alright fine, why don't you tell me about your wildest fantasy.
Elliot : OK, fine. You're a Mexican apple thief. I run the cider house. I catch you hiding behind the sawmill. You chase me into the tasting room- oh, if there's a crow in there, fine; if not, I can live with it- anyway, we're all alone. You don't speak a word of English but you teach more about hard cider than I ever learned from my fermenting exam and our passion is so loud that they can hear it all in the way in the distillery. Oh, I can be such an apple slut.
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Dr. Cox : Jordan, here's the plan: I'm gonna go ahead and and cram an entire evening's worth of drinking into the next five minutes. Now, you just make sure not to engage them. Be particularly aware of the blonde talky one - I've worked with her before - she has no off button.
Carla : [to Elliot] If money is so tight, why not have Jake move in with you?
Jordan : Who's Jake?
Dr. Cox : Jordan!... No!
Elliot : He's this guy that I've been going out with for a while, but we're not ready to move in. He's a little closed-off, you know?
Jordan : [Pointing at Cox behind her hand] Uh, sweetie, are you aware of who I live with?
Dr. Cox : Jordan Godzilla Sullivan! You stop that, and you stop it now!
Jordan : Why don't you try talking to humans for once? You might enjoy it!
Carla : Elliot, maybe you should be the one to open Jake up? You know like Turk can be a little... immature - you know, like I always have to talk about my feelings over dinner or shut off his iPod during sex. I bet you could do the same thing with Jake.
Dr. Cox : Or... maybe you could pressure him, get dumped, throw on fifty pounds, start collecting knick-knacks and meet your future now. You know... before the loneliness burns too much?
[Hopping in his seat]
Dr. Cox : Wooooo-ohhhhh!
[Laughing]
Dr. Cox : Gosh, I did enjoy that!
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J.D. : [Riding his bike in low gear, furiously pedaling] Talking to you violates the two most important tenets of our relationship. One, keep discussions superficial and two, no talking while my boys are straddling chrome. That one's new.
Elliot : Why don't you just try a higher gear?
J.D. : [Elliot reaches over and shifts gears on J.D.'s bike] Agh! It's like pedaling in hummus!
