Elliot: [on the phone] I can't believe you've been in New Zealand for 5 months.
Sean Kelly: I... I can't believe you still haven't figured out the time difference; it's 4am here.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Hey, Laverne. What'd you give me if I get this jelly bean into your cleavage?
Nurse Laverne Roberts: A concussion.
Bratty Kid: Why are your pants tight? Clowns are supposed to wear pants that are baggy.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Because, Brad, I'm the kind of clown that likes to wear tight pants.
Bratty Kid: The other clown wears baggy pants
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: What other clown?
The Janitor: [Children point to where Janitor is standing] Hello, old friend.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Janitor.
Lonnie: Mr Miller passed away and I thought that since I'm kind of new of this, you could notify his family.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: What, you steal my research project and now you want me to do your dirty work?
Lonnie: Dr Cox said if you said that to say that's right, Melinda.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: I think what angry disturbed clown is trying to teach us is it's never okay to push other people over.
The Janitor: [Pushes J.D over as all the children laugh]
Dr. Miller: Why are you smiling?
Dr. Perry Cox: I'm just glad you finally ended up on my side of the camp.
Dr. Miller: I'm an adult, I don't go to camp. Listen, if Dr Kelso was going to take me somewhere which was actually going to help my career, I'd be gone so fast you'd be left here staring at an imaginary woman's chest.
Dr. Perry Cox: Oh, I'm sorry. That dress your wearing just screams respect me as a doctor.
Dr. Elliot Reid: Position one, two or three?
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: We only had two positions.
Dr. Elliot Reid: Oh. Well, I've got something to show you later.
Elliot: Guys! Three long years of busting my hump at this place and it has finally paid off!
J.D.: You got the fellowship?
Elliot: No! I get to be the clown in Pediatrics!
Carla: Heeeey! That old clown was really good. So, uh, you got some really big shoes to fill!
[she laughs, but everyone else just looks at her blankly]
Carla: Dammit, I'm funny!