- Bill Clinton: Alright, boys, let's stop in here for a second. I'm a little parched from the jog.
- Secret Service Agent: Eh, Sir, we've only been jogging for three blocks. Besides, Mrs. Clinton asked us not to let you in to any more fastfood places.
- Bill Clinton: Well, I just wanna mingle with the American people, talk with some real folks, maybe get a Diet Coke, or something...
- Secret Service Agent: All right, fine. But please, don't tell Mrs. Clinton.
- Bill Clinton: Jim, let me tell you something: there's gonna be a whole bunch of things we don't tell Mrs. Clinton. Fast food is the least of our worries, ok, buddy?
- Weekend Update Anchor: Good evening, I'm Kevin Nealon.
- [turns to other camera and puts on a fake moustache]
- Weekend Update Anchor: And I'm Hector Perez.
- Weekend Update Anchor: Remember to tune in next week when we'll be taking a closer look at the stuff that didn't happen yet this week. I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.
- Weekend Update Anchor: Just a reminder: there's no reason to turn back your clocks back an hour tonight.