- Anthony Marvinowsky: Then you are claiming that the character that Mr. Lipson portrays is really you?
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, all but the part about where I treat my son bad. See, I'm not that bad.
- Lamont Sanford: Pop!
- Fred G. Sanford: Shut up, dummy.
- Albert Brock: We rest our case.
- Bubba Bexley: The characters on that show are a lot like you. There's the mean grouchy old father.
- Fred G. Sanford: Wait a minute...
- Bubba Bexley: The Dumb son.
- Lamont Sanford: Hey Bubba?
- Bubba Bexley: The Ugly Sister-in-Law.
- Aunt Esther Anderson: Watch it sucka!
- Bubba Bexley: And the stupid bungling friend.
- [Looks at Grady]
- Grady Wilson: [Sarcasticly] Your too hard on yourself Bubba!
- Steinberg: [Clutching onto chest] You hear that Naomi darling? It's all my fault. I should of had a heart attack after Murray graduated High School.
- Television Announcer: And now for the premiere of a brand-new comedy about today's teenagers: "All in the Family Way"!
- Fred G. Sanford: [Thinking up premises for new television series] And here's the topper. I mean, here's the one that's sure to sell. It's about a family of pioneer plumbers.
- Lamont Sanford: I'm afraid to ask what it's called.
- Fred G. Sanford: It's called, "Little Outhouses on the Prairie."
- Albert Brock: So, as far as I see, we have a case here of invasion of privacy, as well as a violation of your private and personal right to obtain profit.
- Fred G. Sanford: How much?
- Albert Brock: All actionable both at law and at equity with remedies in damages and injunctions.
- Fred G. Sanford: How much?
- Albert Brock: I'm talking about a million dollars.
- Fred G. Sanford: Keep on talking.
- Albert Brock: Are you ready to go all the way with this case?
- Fred G. Sanford: All the way.
- Albert Brock: It may drag on for months.
- Fred G. Sanford: I've got months.
- Albert Brock: We may have to go all the way to the highest court in the land.
- Fred G. Sanford: All the way.
- Albert Brock: Then you're willing one hundred percent?
- Fred G. Sanford: All the way. See, this is America. Where uh right makes might; Where justice is blind; Where law is king; and Where a man should be able to pursue his democratic rights no matter what it costs him in time, effort, and or money.
- Lamont Sanford: Wow, man. I'm proud of you, pop.
- Fred G. Sanford: Thanks, son.
- Albert Brock: Okay, I'll need about ten dollars to file the complaint.
- Fred G. Sanford: I drop the case. I drop the case and I plead non compos mentis and I apologize to your habeas and your corpus.
- Fred Sanford: If you wanna make a show about my life, why not make it black? With black people, and call it 'Sanford and Son'?
- Bernie Taub: 'Sanford and Son'? It would never make it.
- Lawyer: We may have to go all the way to the highest court in the land.
- Fred Sanford: All the way.
- Lawyer: And you're willing 100%?
- Fred Sanford: All the way. See, this is America, where a right makes might, where justice is blind, where law is king, where a man should be able to persue his democratic right no matter what it costs him in time, effort and/or money.
- Lawyer: Okay, I'll need about $10 to file the complaint.
- Fred Sanford: I'll drop the case.
- TV Announcer: Coming up next is a new show about today's teenagers entitled, "All in the Family Way".
- Fred Sanford: What?