Sanford and Son (TV Series)

Aunt Esther Meets Her Son (1976)

Redd Foxx: Fred G. Sanford

Quotes 

• Aunt Esther Anderson : I need help!

  Fred G. Sanford : Help? I'm just a junkman, not a plastic surgeon.

  Aunt Esther Anderson : Please, Fred, I need your truck.

  Fred G. Sanford : I agree. Son, you take the truck and run over Esther's face.

• Fred G. Sanford : I learned the day after Lamont was born that it's much harder to be a father than it is to become one.

• Uncle Woodrow 'Woody' Anderson : [as Esther and Daniel come into the store, Woody turns to Fred]  Does he look tough to you?

  Fred G. Sanford : Hard to tell. Standing next to Esther, King Kong would look like John-Boy.

• Daniel : [to Lamont, referring to Esther throwing him out]  She told me, "Get out of my house, heathen!"

  Fred G. Sanford : [Butting in]  That'll do it.

  Lamont Sanford : Why? What happened?

  Daniel : I just told her I didn't believe in God, that's all.

  Fred G. Sanford : That's all? Telling Esther there's no God is like telling Jimmy Carter there's no more toothpaste!