- Sabrina Spellman: Hey, Roxie, what's your family doing for Christmas?
- Roxie King: The usual. We put up an aluminum tree, get take-out from Taco Bell, and then I watch my Dad and step-mom exchange cartons of Winston Lights.
- Morgan Cavanaugh: [overhears] Your family exchanges cigarettes?
- Roxie King: Hey, it's just not Christmas without a visit from Jolly old St. Nicotine!
- Zelda Spellman: [discussing bedding arrangements] Sabrina, you'll be doubling up with the sugarplum fairy.
- Sabrina Spellman: Just what I need. A twinkle toes and a sugar rush who grinds her teeth all night.
- Zelda Spellman: [putting an arm around her shoulder] Hey, now... This is no time to be a Gloomy Gus. The holidays are upon us. We're gonna have a wonderful Christmas.
- Sabrina Spellman: [hollowly, to herself] Yeah, a wonderful Christmas.
- [longing for holiday far away from here]
- Roxie King: [waking up on couch upon hearing intruder] Whoever you are, I'm warning you, I have a black belt.
- Hilda Spellman: Roxie?
- Roxie King: Okay, it's charcoal, but it goes with the shoes. Hilda, what are you doing here? And what's with your hair?
- Salem Saberhagen: Bah, humbug!
- Sabrina Spellman: Salem! What are you doing here?
- Salem Saberhagen: I couldn't stand the thought of Cousin Ira staring at me, so I stowed away in your suitcase. By the by, you might wanna run a lint brush over your unmentionables.
- Morgan Cavanaugh: Why am I such an idiot? I keep fooling myself into thinking that one year I am actually going to have a normal Christmas.
- Sabrina Spellman: Morgan, normal is relative.
- Morgan Cavanaugh: Yeah, too bad my relatives aren't normal.