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"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch" Pilot (TV Episode 1996) Poster

(TV Series)

(1996)

Quotes

Sabrina: So what are you saying? That I'm not who I think I am? You're not who I think you are? And my father lives in a book?

Hilda: [scoffs] Finally, she gets it!

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Harvey Kinkle: [sees Sabrina for the first time ever, through a glass door, both immediately smile at each other, then Mr Pool hits Harvey in the head by opening the glass door]

Mr. Eugene Pool: Summer's over ! Come on in !

[Scene switch, pupils are now in the classroom. Writes to chalkboard]

Mr. Eugene Pool: I'm Mr Pool

[coughs]

Mr. Eugene Pool: and I know you where hoping I was gonna spend the day mispronouncing your names, but... instead lets just jump right into biology ! The frog is a coldblooded vertebrate. As we dissect this amphibian we're looking for: the kidneys, lard, and my lost youth.

[laughter]

Mr. Eugene Pool: So if you'll each choose up a lab partner ?

[waits, nobody moves]

Mr. Eugene Pool: ... or I could pair ya by height !

[they move]

Mr. Eugene Pool: Thank you !

Harvey Kinkle: [to Sabrina] Hey you want...

Libby Chessler: [interrupts from the side] Harvey ! I'll be your lab partner !

Harvey Kinkle: [smiles shortly at Sabrina in a I'm sorry kind of way, then moves to Libby]

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Jill: [both lean over a dead frog] Let's name him. Tad. Tad Pole.

Sabrina: Okay.

[looks down for a moment]

Sabrina: Hey, thanks for asking me to be your lab partner.

Jill: I know what it's like, I was the new kid last year.

Sabrina: So, can I ask you a question? Do you ever feel like you don't fit in?

Jill: Only all the time, but I don't want to fit in. I researched it, and awkward people tend to be much more successful later in life. I look at Libby, I see tragedy.

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Mr. Eugene Pool: Oh! Look, girls, you... you bored your frog to death!

[hands Sabrina the knife]

Mr. Eugene Pool: Well, slice and dice!

[walks away]

Sabrina: [sighs] I hate doing this. If only there was some way I could bring these frogs back to life. I think his heart is somewhere around... here!

[Magic springs from her pointing finger, the frog comes back to life, starts croaking and moving]

Sabrina: Look! Tad's alive! How'd that happen?

Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Ha! It's Frankenfrog! Hey!

[Frog jumps away]

Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: [Sabrina squeals and goes after the frog]

Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Mr Pool! Ours is still kicking!

[Still squealing, Sabrina catches the frog]

Mr. Eugene Pool: [Chuckles] Mike from Cadaver Shack's gonna here from me!

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Libby Chessler: [Sabrina enters the bathroom, Libby, at the mirror, turns round to face her] May we help you?

Sabrina: I just wanted to wash my hands. You know, frog juice.

Libby Chessler: Hmm.

[makes room]

Libby Chessler: You know... if you stink, I'm not sure it's fair to blame the frog.

Sabrina: Well, at least I don't splash on aftershave to remind me of some boy who dumped me last summer.

Libby Chessler: How'd you know that?

Sabrina: [wonders herself, turns] I... I... I don't know, my incredible sense of smell told me?

[wonders]

Libby Chessler: Huh. Yeah, right.

Sabrina: Well, I better get going. Smell ya later!

Libby Chessler: Wait... Don't come in here again. From now on, you use the freaks' bathroom.

[turns to face mirror again]

Libby Chessler: [Sabrina gestures at Libby, which enacts a spell and makes Libby's hand cover her face in lipstick]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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