The SCTV network is broadcasting a live Johnny LaRue production of "Julius Caesar," with Bobby Bittman in the title role, when the show is interrupted by a signal from the Russian TV channel CCCP1. "Today from Moscow" fills the SCTV screen, with hosts Valery Commetsky and Ivan Mahiloff. The studio audience are the employees of the Minsk Bus and Truck Works. Later they'll tour the Serbsky Institute for the Politically Insane, then hurry back to Minsk for their 4pm shift. Valery has a new pair of shoes (the Potemkin style), which Ivan has the new Soviet minicam (the size of a small car) focus on. Irina Zoyusha shows us the new Soviet Home Dentist Drill and Ear Irrigator, which looks like an air compressor. The minicam motor burns out, and CCCP1 fades back to SCTV. Bobby is arguing with LaRue when SCTV returns, and Bobby walks off the set despite the show being live. Guy Caballero calls LaRue into his office. Guy wants LaRue to resign for the fiasco. LaRue weasels out as usual when CCCP1... Written by
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Be healthy, and welcome to Russia's favorite television game, Uposcrabblenyk. I am your host, Niklaus Harmolav, welcome. Today is the second day of our struggle between... Champion Viktor Kametsky, worker at Hydroelectric Plant Number Five; and our lovely challenger, Anna Petrovich, a designer at Mikuoyan Aerospace. Anna, tell us all about your job.
Sorry, Niklaus, it's classified.
Oh-ho! Good answer! Viktor, tell about, er, perhaps your hobbies... something.
Enough talk, get to game!