Hilda Rumpole: I want you to pull up your socks. That's what I want, and if you don't... well... it's quite likely you might spend your old age alone!
Horace Rumpole: [mumbling to himself] Promises, promises.
Hilda Rumpole: What did you say?
Horace Rumpole: 'Miss you, miss you, Hilda,' I said.
Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard, Q.C.: His marriage is on the rocks, Rumpole, and when a fellow's marriage is on the rocks, he can't always be trusted with a cheque.
Claude Erskine-Brown: Indeed.
Horace Rumpole: Oh, really? How's your marriage, Ballard?
Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard, Q.C.: Well, you know perfectly well, Rumpole, I'm a bachelor.
Horace Rumpole: Then aren't you in the position of a lifelong vegetarian giving us your recipe for steak and kidney pie?
Horace Rumpole: My lord, may I make a suggestion?
Judge Gerald Graves: What is it?
Horace Rumpole: May I suggest that your lordship sits quietly and allows me to develop the defense.
Judge Gerald Graves: Mr. Rumpole, may I ask where these questions are leading?
Horace Rumpole: I hope, my lord, to the truth.
[Hector Vellacott tells Rumpole that Sir Christopher Japhet has disappeared, the day after Rumpole accused him in court of being responsible for the insider dealing]
Hector Vellacott Q.C.: The judge is not going to like it.
Horace Rumpole: Oh don't worry about him, old darling. The shock will probably bring him back to life.