Quotes
Barbara Feldon: [as Mrs. Freud] Take this sexy piece of paper. And when you do this...
[tears the paper in half]
Barbara Feldon: Now isn't that absolutely obscene?
Share thisJack Lemmon: This kinda stuff won sixteen Emmys?
Share thisGoldie Hawn: I'm so glad the new TV season has started, It gives us all a chance to see next years reruns, early.
Share thisDan Rowan: Gladys, I'd like you to meet Mr. Hugh Hefner.
Gladys Ormphby: Oh, Mr. Hefner, Harry says I look like something out of your Playboy centerfold.
Mr. Hugh Hefner: Yes, eh, the staple.
Gladys Ormphby: [audience laughs] Oh Hef, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
Share thisDick Martin: Jackson, Mississippi, a spokesman for the Mississippi teachers association, currently threatening a statewise teachers strike, said today and I quote: all of we teachers are not going back to the classroom until we get paid lots more better. End of quote.
Share thisGoldie Hawn: A one for the money, two for the show, if the judge is coming, I'm gonna leave.
Share thisZsa Zsa Gabor: This program reminds me of my first honeymoon: nobody knows what they are doing, but everybody laughs.
Share thisGoldie Hawn: Don't go back, we'll be right away!
Share thisDan Rowan: Is there any alcohol in cider?
Barbara Feldon: Inside her what?
Dick Martin: I'll drink to that!
Share thisJudy Carne: I don't think we could get Mr. Nixon to stand still for a Sock it to me.
Richard Nixon: Sock it to me?
Share thisJo Anne: I'm all for school busing. I've learned so much more in a school bus than I'll ever learn in a school!
Share thisTyrone F. Horneigh: Hey, are you doing anything right now?
[Gladys hits him]
Tyrone F. Horneigh: Are you doing anything tonight?
[Gladys hits him]
Tyrone F. Horneigh: Are you doing anything tomorrow night?
[Gladys hits him]
Tyrone F. Horneigh: Well, I'll come back and see you sometime when you're not so busy.
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