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"Roswell" I Married an Alien (TV Episode 2002) Poster

(TV Series)

(2002)

Quotes

Max: No, no, that's wrong. It was a Navajo White. That's more Eggshell.

Michael: And I'm the one who needs a hobby?

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Jesse: Were you guys just talking about me?

Isabel: No, silly. The world doesn't revolve around you!

Max: Yeah, it revolves around Michael.

Michael: That's me!

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Max: [Sees Michael watching "Bewitched"] Okay, this is officially not funny anymore.

Michael: I'd ask what your problem is, Maxwell, but I really don't care.

Max: Michael, you have got to get a life.

Michael: Thanks for the heartfelt advice. You can leave now.

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Max: Somebody wanna tell me what's going on?

Jesse: Max! You can't just go around turning people into dogs.

Max: I won't stand here and be lectured by the descendant of an ape.

Isabel: Max, change him back, please.

Max: He seems to know our little secret. Now how could that have happened?

Jesse: He doesn't know anything. Unless, of course, he's seen you flying around the neighborhood in the saucer again.

Max: You go for one joyride and they never let you forget it.

Isabel: Max, I don't want him to piddle on the carpet.

Max: In a minute, Speaking of the saucer Michael broke the cloaking device so I had to park it in your basement for now.

Jesse: In the basement?

Max: Am I speaking too fast for your human brain to follow?

Jesse: How did you get it in there?

Isabel: He used the time-space slipstream, dear.

Max: Duh.

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Jesse: [On the golf course] You want to take a mulligan?

Michael: No, I don't take drugs.

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Isabel: Michael, what are you going to tell Eric?

Michael: I'll think of something.

Isabel: I don't know what worries me more, when you don't think or when you do.

Michael: That's funny. You should be on a sitcom.

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Eric Hughes: So, uh, when did you meet Isabel?

Jesse: July 5th.

Eric Hughes: July 5th? Isn't that your birthday?

Jesse: Yeah, how about that for a present.

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Isabel: Well, what are we going to do?

Max: I guess we're gonna have to find another planet to hide out on.

Isabel: But I like this planet.

Micheal: Me too. Where else are you going to find another planet that has Whoppers and Big Mac?

Isabel and Max: Shut up.

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Maria DeLuca: [about Michael] So he wants to take me out for my birthday next week and I don't know.

Kyle Valenti: What's the harm?

Isabel Amanda Evans: Well, the harm is that a birthday dinner by definition is sentimental.

Maria DeLuca: And sentimental leads to a goodnight kiss.

Isabel Amanda Evans: And a goodnight kiss leads to sex.

Kyle Valenti: I should write that down.

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Isabel: Did you forget something?

Jesse: Yeah, my balls.

[Max and Michael laughs]

Jesse: Were you guys just talking about me?

Isabel: That's a little paranoid, don't you think? I mean the whole world doesn't revolve around you.

Max: It revolves around Michael.

Michael: That's a fact.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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