- Roseanne: [to D.J] Hey! Black people are just like us. They're every bit as good as us, and any people who don't think so is just a bunch of banjo-picking, cousin-dating, barefoot embarrassments to respectable white trash like us!
- Dan Conner: Is it because she's black?
- D.J.: You'll be mad if I say yes.
- Dan Conner: No we won't.
- Roseanne: Yes we will!
- Chuck Mitchell: So, what's with the extra poker game this week? Did Roseanne finally come to her senses and leave ya?
- Dan Conner: Believe me, if Roseanne left me, you'd all be a lot prettier, and the opening bid would be two panties.
- Dan Conner: He was raised in Lanford, it's 5% blacks, and kissing's a new thing for him. It's only natural that D.J. wouldn't be as comfortable kissing a black girl as one of his own, I did not say that!
- Roseanne: Well at least now I know where he gets it from.
- Dan Conner: I am not a bigot.
- Roseanne: Yeah, and neither's your father. He says he doesn't have any problem with the coloreds.
- Dan Conner: I am not my father.
- Roseanne: If I had known you'd be passing your family's crap onto my kids I wouldn't be having another one with you.