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"Roseanne" Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down (TV Episode 1991) Poster

Quotes

Dan: [as Deadger Bergen and his dummy, Mortuary Snerd, singing] Well I come from six feet under with a dead guy on my knee, I'm heading down to Hades for to spend eternity.

Roseanne: [singing] Hey there, Deadger, I think it's plain to see, we bought a cardboard casket and the worms have eaten me.

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Jerry Bowman: [talking about a Halloween prank Dan and Roseanne pulled on Kathy earlier] Oh boy, I gotta tell you Dan, Kathy was so mad about that, she didn't say a word to me all day.

Dan: Well I guess you owe me a beer, Jer.

Jerry Bowman: [chuckling] Yea, I guess I do.

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Roseanne: [to Kathy, because she is convinced that Kathy is lying about wanting to seek revenge for a prank pulled on her by the Conners] Oh sure, you think you're better than me now, but when you remember the terrible thing that I did to you today, you will sink to my level like a *rock!*

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Jackie Harris: What's with the blood?

Roseanne: [nonchalantly] Oh, I killed Dan.

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Dan: [talking about their scaring Kathy] Damn good bladder control though.

Roseanne: Why thank you, I did laugh pretty hard.

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Roseanne: [walks into the kitchen and sees Dan disemboweled, turns around and Roseanne corners her with a knife] What is it, Kathy? I've had a really bad day and now I've got to clean up all of this. You know, I don't know how many times I keep telling myself, it's just like gutting a fish. I swear I was much better with Becky's dad.

Kathy Bowman: Becky's dad?

Roseanne: Yeah, he was blonde too. Oh hey I know, you've got a garbage disposal, don't you?

Kathy Bowman: [cringing] Oh my God... I have to go home.

Roseanne: Oh no, you can't go, Kathy, you'll tell.

Kathy Bowman: [backing up] No I won't, I promise, please let me go!

[backs into Dan who's standing behind her, turns around]

Dan: Liver?

[Kathy screams and runs for the door]

Roseanne: Happy Halloween!

Kathy Bowman: [in shock] That was horrible! Horrible!

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Roseanne: [run out of their room after finding snakes in their bed] Snakes bite and squeeze, this is going too far, Kathy's trying to kill us!

Becky Conner: [laughing] What're you talking about? Kathy's not trying to kill you.

Darlene Conner: Yeah, we are.

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Roseanne: Our children remembered us on our favorite holiday.

Dan: God bless us one and all.

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Roseanne: You know, Dan, I think we should've rehearsed our act more, I don't think they got that we were supposed to be dead.

Dan: [as Deadger Bergen] Well Morty, if it's any consolation, I'm sure they wish we were.

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Dan: [as Deadger Bergen] Well Morty, here we are.

Roseanne: [as Mortuary Snerd] Is this hell?

Dan: [laughs] No Morty, this is Lanford.

Roseanne: Say, isn't that Arnie? I thought I told you to go to hell.

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Jackie Harris: [both in black dresses and wigs] Who would've thought we'd both come dressed as Morticia Addams?

Crystal Anderson-Conner: You're Morticia? Oh that's okay then, I'm Elvira!

Jackie Harris: We still look like the Judds from hell.

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Jackie Harris: [Booker's in a moose costume and won't let Jackie know who he is] Come on, take off the moose head.

Booker Brooks: I already told you, you might be disappointed and I don't want that to happen until after we've had sex.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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