Dan: [as Deadger Bergen and his dummy, Mortuary Snerd, singing] Well I come from six feet under with a dead guy on my knee, I'm heading down to Hades for to spend eternity.
Roseanne: [singing] Hey there, Deadger, I think it's plain to see, we bought a cardboard casket and the worms have eaten me.
Jerry Bowman: [talking about a Halloween prank Dan and Roseanne pulled on Kathy earlier] Oh boy, I gotta tell you Dan, Kathy was so mad about that, she didn't say a word to me all day.
Dan: Well I guess you owe me a beer, Jer.
Jerry Bowman: [chuckling] Yea, I guess I do.
Roseanne: [to Kathy, because she is convinced that Kathy is lying about wanting to seek revenge for a prank pulled on her by the Conners] Oh sure, you think you're better than me now, but when you remember the terrible thing that I did to you today, you will sink to my level like a *rock!*
Dan: [talking about their scaring Kathy] Damn good bladder control though.
Roseanne: Why thank you, I did laugh pretty hard.
Roseanne: [walks into the kitchen and sees Dan disemboweled, turns around and Roseanne corners her with a knife] What is it, Kathy? I've had a really bad day and now I've got to clean up all of this. You know, I don't know how many times I keep telling myself, it's just like gutting a fish. I swear I was much better with Becky's dad.
Kathy Bowman: Becky's dad?
Roseanne: Yeah, he was blonde too. Oh hey I know, you've got a garbage disposal, don't you?
Kathy Bowman: [cringing] Oh my God... I have to go home.
Roseanne: Oh no, you can't go, Kathy, you'll tell.
Kathy Bowman: [backing up] No I won't, I promise, please let me go!
[backs into Dan who's standing behind her, turns around]
[Kathy screams and runs for the door]
Roseanne: Happy Halloween!
Kathy Bowman: [in shock] That was horrible! Horrible!
Roseanne: [run out of their room after finding snakes in their bed] Snakes bite and squeeze, this is going too far, Kathy's trying to kill us!
Becky Conner: [laughing] What're you talking about? Kathy's not trying to kill you.
Darlene Conner: Yeah, we are.
Roseanne: You know, Dan, I think we should've rehearsed our act more, I don't think they got that we were supposed to be dead.
Dan: [as Deadger Bergen] Well Morty, if it's any consolation, I'm sure they wish we were.
Dan: [as Deadger Bergen] Well Morty, here we are.
Roseanne: [as Mortuary Snerd] Is this hell?
Dan: [laughs] No Morty, this is Lanford.
Roseanne: Say, isn't that Arnie? I thought I told you to go to hell.
Jackie Harris: [both in black dresses and wigs] Who would've thought we'd both come dressed as Morticia Addams?
Crystal Anderson-Conner: You're Morticia? Oh that's okay then, I'm Elvira!
Jackie Harris: We still look like the Judds from hell.