Roseanne Conner: Now you won't have to take all those pills.
Doris: I won't?
Roseanne Conner: No, women who yell don't need pills. Men invented pills to shut women up.
Mark Healy: You change your clothes 8 times a day?
Astrid Wentworth: On average.
Jackie Harris: We don't have 8 changes of clothes total. What're we going to do?
Roseanne Conner: I watched that Martha Stewart, we'll be fine.
Jackie Harris: Mommy's playing football, and mommy's kicking butt!
Roseanne Conner: Say 'I'm not taking any crap from anyone'.
Doris: I am...
Roseanne Conner: Stop! It's not 'I am', it's 'I'm'.
Doris: I'm not taking any... do I have to say the C word?
Roseanne Conner: Yes you do, Doris, because that's the most important word.
Doris: I'm not taking any crap from anyone.
Roseanne Conner: That was good but are you serving tea, Doris? get mad and say it.
Doris: [louder] I'm not taking any crap from anyone!
Roseanne Conner: Good, now personalize it, make it your own.
Doris: [louder] I'm not taking any damn crap from anyone!