Jackie: [looking at Jackie's baby through ultra-sound] Look at the little feet, and the spine. And what's on its head? It looks like it's wearing a little cap.
Roseanne: Ohhhhhh, thaaaat's what happened to the condom.
David Healy: You know, big brothers are supposed to look out for their kid brothers, and like, help them, and do stuff with them.
Mark Healy: Well I'd a done stuff with you, but you don't like to do guy-stuff.
David Healy: I like to do guy-stuff! Who says, drawing isn't something guys do?
Mark Healy: Guys!
Jackie: [upset] That is a legal document. Fred is suing me for custody of my baby!
Roseanne: Oh my God. You're *kidding* me!
Jackie: [hysterically] No! It's all right there! He wants my baby! It's not even born yet, he - he's suing me for custody of my *stomach*!
Fred: Save your breath, Roseanne, you're not gonna talk me into dropping this lawsuit.
Roseanne: Well, maybe I can talk you into begging for your life.
Roseanne: [trying to get Fred to drop the lawsuit, shouts] I told you before, that I would figure out a way for you to see your kid! I'm *way* more powerful than any *law*!
Dan: [to Mark, who thinks the women are wrong] Little something I think you oughta know. Women live longer than men, so in the end... they're never wrong.
David Healy: D.J., who would you rather have for a big brother: me or Mark?
David Healy: [to Mark] See!
D.J.: Because you can't beat me up like Becky and Darlene can.
Dan: [relieved not to see Roseanne anywhere, turns around] Ahhh...
Roseanne: Ahh hey to you too!
Roseanne: Well Dan, I guess you're just not the man I thought you were... and I wasn't too happy with that one!
Becky Conner-Healy: We should've known, Mom, men stick together no matter how butt headed their argument is.