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"Roseanne" Don't Make Room for Daddy (TV Episode 1994) Poster

(TV Series)

(1994)

Quotes

Jackie: [looking at Jackie's baby through ultra-sound] Look at the little feet, and the spine. And what's on its head? It looks like it's wearing a little cap.

Roseanne: Ohhhhhh, thaaaat's what happened to the condom.

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David Healy: You know, big brothers are supposed to look out for their kid brothers, and like, help them, and do stuff with them.

Mark Healy: Well I'd a done stuff with you, but you don't like to do guy-stuff.

David Healy: I like to do guy-stuff! Who says, drawing isn't something guys do?

Mark Healy: Guys!

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Jackie: [upset] That is a legal document. Fred is suing me for custody of my baby!

Roseanne: Oh my God. You're *kidding* me!

Jackie: [hysterically] No! It's all right there! He wants my baby! It's not even born yet, he - he's suing me for custody of my *stomach*!

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Fred: Save your breath, Roseanne, you're not gonna talk me into dropping this lawsuit.

Roseanne: Well, maybe I can talk you into begging for your life.

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Roseanne: [trying to get Fred to drop the lawsuit, shouts] I told you before, that I would figure out a way for you to see your kid! I'm *way* more powerful than any *law*!

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Dan: [to Mark, who thinks the women are wrong] Little something I think you oughta know. Women live longer than men, so in the end... they're never wrong.

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David Healy: D.J., who would you rather have for a big brother: me or Mark?

D.J.: You.

David Healy: [to Mark] See!

D.J.: Because you can't beat me up like Becky and Darlene can.

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Dan: [relieved not to see Roseanne anywhere, turns around] Ahhh...

[sees Roseanne]

Dan: Hey!

Roseanne: Ahh hey to you too!

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Roseanne: Well Dan, I guess you're just not the man I thought you were... and I wasn't too happy with that one!

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Becky Conner-Healy: We should've known, Mom, men stick together no matter how butt headed their argument is.

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Jackie: I know what to do, we'll hire a hitman.

Roseanne: Jackie!

Jackie: No, I know what I'm talking about, remember that woman we saw on TV she hired a guy for 500 bucks?

Roseanne: Yeah, and the reason she was on TV is because she got caught!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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