Servilia of the Junii: How is Caesar?
Marcus Junius Brutus: Who?
Servilia of the Junii: Don't be cruel. Is he well? Did he speak of me?
Marcus Junius Brutus: Did he? I can't recall. I think not. He did write you a letter though.
Servilia of the Junii: Oh you beast.
Marcus Junius Brutus: Of course, you have to imagine, long hair down to here, huge moustasches, the most terriffic stench, they eat only raw meat and never wash. Though they do have one admirable custom, they settle their political disputes by a single combat to the death.
Pompey Magnus: Excellent idea.
Marcus Junius Brutus: Isn't it? Mother is always nagging me to attend politics.
Servilia of the Junii: Well it's been our family's tradition and duty for, uhm, five hundred years?
Marcus Junius Brutus: Oh it's such dreadfully dull stuff. Now you see, if our senate conducted business in the German style I should certainly go and watch. Yeah, no tedious laws and endless debates, just swords, and daggers...
Mark Antony: Lucius Vorenus! You have a brain! Or so the tribune's say...
Gaius Octavian: I am Gaius Octavian of the Julii. Great nephew of Julius Caesar.
Titus Pullo: Gaius who?
Gaius Octavian: I am a Roman citizen of noble birth. And I order you to cut these ropes.
Titus Pullo: Say please.
Gaius Octavian: Please.
Lucius Vorenus: Pullo, when was the last time you were with a woman who wasn't crying or wanting payment?
Lucius Vorenus: Do you think of *nothing* but women?
Titus Pullo: What else is there?
Titus Pullo: Food, I s'pose.
Marcus Tullius Cicero: When confronted by a hungry wolf, it is unwise to goad the beast, as Cato would have us do. But it is equally unwise to imagine the snarling animal a friend and offer your hand, as Pompey does.
Pompey Magnus: Perhaps you would have us climb a tree!
Titus Pullo: Me, I have simpler tastes. I like to kill my enemies, take their gold and enjoy their women.