Gaius Octavian: I dare say I can kill a man, so long as he's not fighting back.
Titus Pullo: Priests, crooks many of them. I just talk directly to whatever god I'm doing business with. Bugger the priests.
Gaius Julius Caesar: You're a thief - a foolish, incompetent thief. But you have served us well in the past so we will pretend your foolishness is a species of honesty and let you go unpunished. In fact, I think we should reward you. I do not like to quarrel with fortune and clearly she's taken you for a pet.
[to Marc Antony]
Gaius Julius Caesar: When you find the trove, give him a hundred gold pieces.
Titus Pullo: Thank you, Sir.
Mark Antony: As you wish.
Chief Augur: Name yourself, citizen.
Gaius Julius Caesar: Gaius of the Julii, called Caesar.
Chief Augur: Speak, then.
Gaius Julius Caesar: I humbly ask that auguries be taken, that Rome might know that the gods favor my actions.
Chief Augur: You've entered the city under arms. I must warn you, that seldom augurs well.
Gaius Julius Caesar: The gods know my intentions are peaceful. The people must know it also.
[the augurs whisper to each other]
Chief Augur: So be it. Auguries will be taken on the first clean morning. Let the birds fly where they may.
[while looking over Caesar's proposed guest list for the party]
Atia of the Julii: Servilia? Why invite her? Can there still be something between them? A rattled old sandal like her? Surely not.
Merula: Some juice in her yet.
Atia of the Julii: I'll not let that woman get between me and Caesar.
[she climbs onto the bed, where Antony is sleeping. She taps him on the back to wake him up]
Atia of the Julii: Why is Servilia invited to the party?
Mark Antony: Hmm?
Atia of the Julii: Servilia of the Junii, why is she invited?
Mark Antony: On account of her son, obviously. For this you wake me?
Atia of the Julii: Of course. He needs to keep Brutus as his symbolic friend, that's all. It would look ill with the people if Brutus were his enemy. There's no love there. It's just politics.
Mark Antony: Dear gods, woman, would you let me sleep?
Gaius Julius Caesar: Wife?
[Posca thinks for a moment]
[Caesar sits down next to the Chief Augur]
Gaius Julius Caesar: Tell me, how is Caecilia?
Chief Augur: Oh, she's healthy, I thank you.
Gaius Julius Caesar: Good. I recall I forgot her last birthday.
[Antony sits down on the other side of the Chief Augur]
Chief Augur: Her birthday?
Gaius Julius Caesar: Remiss of me, I know. Perhaps she would forgive my rudeness were I to send her a gift.
Chief Augur: Oh, really, that's not necessary.
Gaius Julius Caesar: Hard to find the right gift for a woman, nay? What one loves, another scorns.
Mark Antony: Perhaps she would accept some money.
Gaius Julius Caesar: There's an idea. A hundred thousand sesterce, say?
Chief Augur: [catching on] Oh, that's very kind of you. I'm afraid my wife is a woman of expensive tastes
Mark Antony: The best women often are.
Gaius Julius Caesar: A hundred and fifty thousand.
Chief Augur: She would dress her slaves in silk if I would let her. She eats oysters for breakfast. Daily.
Mark Antony: She should be most careful. People often choke on oysters.
Gaius Julius Caesar: Two hundred thousand.
Chief Augur: That is a very generous and, I may say, appropriate gift. She would be under great obligation to you.
Gaius Julius Caesar: To think well of me would be her only obligation.
Chief Augur: [obsequiously] She's always thought well of you. It is not unethical she continue to do so.
Gaius Julius Caesar: We understand each other.
[he turns to Posca]
Gaius Julius Caesar: [quietly] Make a note of it. Two hundred to the Chief Augur.
Posca: [to himself, disapprovingly] Thinks he's Midas, the loon.