- Jim Rockford: [Answering machine steps in] This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave you name and message, I'll get back to you.
- Lou: [Beeep] Hey Jimmy! It's Cousin Lou! Goin' ta be in town fer a coupla days. Know ya won't mind puttin' us up. It's just me and Aunt Cissy and B.J. and the kids and little Freddie...
- Jim Rockford: Welllll, lady, I think you're being suckered.
- Susan Alexander: Then you don't want the job?
- Jim Rockford: Ummm, no, I didn't say that. Nawww, I just, uh, like to be upfront then I don't feel so bad about taking your money.
- Susan Alexander: [Susan sees Rockford remove a gun from his cookie jar] I thought you didn't like to shoot people!
- Jim Rockford: I don't shoot it; I just point it!
- Susan Alexander: You're not armed?
- Jim Rockford: No.
- Susan Alexander: But you're a private investigator, why don't you carry a gun?
- Jim Rockford: Because I don't want to shoot anybody.