Gandolph Fitch: Shut up Gabby!
Jim Rockford: Gabby...?
Marcus 'Gabby' Hayes: [sighs] Yeah, that's what he calls me. Cute, huh?
Jim Rockford: [snorts in disbelief] Gabby and Gandy - sounds like a puppet show.
Jim Rockford: This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
George Debohn: [Beeep] George Debohn, Malibu Space Watch. Had three sightings last week. You see anything unusual? Your television reception interrupted? Call 555-1313.
Jim Rockford: Sons often send flowers to their dead parents, especially Catholics, so you find the mother's grave, find where the flowers are being sent from. Then you go to the flower shop, look at the account, trace the man who sent the flowers and then bingo, up pops your missing heir.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: That is really smart!
Jim Rockford: Well, I'm pretty good at it Dad, and it's safe;
[he glances at the can in Rocky's hand]
Jim Rockford: it buys ham for Gandy to eat and beer for you to drink...
Gandolph Fitch: [limousine phone buzzes] Hey Gabby, you got your phone fixed.
Marcus 'Gabby' Hayes: ...yeah... Hello, Marcus Aurelius Hayes.
Tom Flannery: [condescending voice] Mr. Hayes this is Tom Flannery at Limousine World. How much longer are you going to need our car, sir, on a trial basis before you decide to buy it?
Marcus 'Gabby' Hayes: Well, Mr. Flannery, I may need it a little longer, you see, I've been thinking of buying a fleet of five or six...
Tom Flannery: [voice becomes obsequious] Of course, Mr Hayes! Take as long as you like!
Marcus 'Gabby' Hayes: [chuckles] Thanks my good man.
Gandolph Fitch: Hayes, without your mouth you'd be just like me!
Marcus 'Gabby' Hayes: [Searching for the heir, Marcus and Gandy walk into a bar - a Nazi bar. Everyone - dressed in their Third Reich best costumes - turns to stare at the two men. Gandy defers to Marcus to do the talking. They stroke up to the bar, and Marcus asks for a Martini - which the bartender ignores - silently staring at the two men, as wel] This is a nice place you have here. You know, the nice thing about this country? That people from all political walks of life can coexist. Democrats, Republicans, independence, Socialists, Nazis.