- Hunk Farber: Oh, Monte, I forgot to tell you. The senator's got a thousand dollar reward on you.
- Monte Loman: A thousand dollars. That's all? Guess even he doesn't figure his son was worth much.
- Captain Grey Holden: But I thought I've been saving that space, Mr. Sickel.
- J.C. Sickel: Yeah, for what, for instance?
- Captain Grey Holden: Well, for instance, it'd just about accommodate one hundred and twelve crates of mechanical apple peelers.
- J.C. Sickel: Mechanical apple peelers?
- Captain Grey Holden: Got any idea where I might locate such an item?
- J.C. Sickel: Why, blast your scheming Yankee hide. You know full well and good that I've got a hundred and twelve cases of mechanical apple peelers gathering dust in this warehouse for most of three years! Come on, come on.
- Captain Grey Holden: Well, why don't you sell 'em?
- J.C. Sickel: Because I can't sell no mechanical apple peelers, that's why! Neither can no one else.
- Captain Grey Holden: Well, the man who sold you mechanical apple peelers to you, he sure could sell mechanical apple peelers.
- Ashley Cowan: Ah, Captain... is it Grey Holden or Holden Grey? I never can...
- Captain Grey Holden: What are you doing here, Cowan? Did you run out of riverboats to be thrown off of?
- Ashley Cowan: Why, Captain, I've never been thrown off this one, have I?
- Captain Grey Holden: That's only a technicality. I've never caught you cheating.
- Ashley Cowan: And you never shall.
- Captain Grey Holden: All right. There's your refund for the rest of the trip. There'll be boats passing by here every few hours. Just remember the name of this one, the Enterprise. I wouldn't want you to make the mistake of boarding her again.
- Ashley Cowan: Your concern for my welfare is a tender thing, Captain.