Quark: Season 1, Episode 2

The Old and the Beautiful (3 Mar. 1978)

TV Episode  -   -  Comedy | Sci-Fi
7.3
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Ratings: 7.3/10 from 34 users  
Reviews: 1 user | 1 critic

The Head gives Quark a mission to spend an extended romantic interlude with a princess. Elated about his orders, Quark is later told by Palindrome that this is a secret mission to an ... See full summary »

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Title: The Old and the Beautiful (03 Mar 1978)

The Old and the Beautiful (03 Mar 1978) on IMDb 7.3/10

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Cast

Episode complete credited cast:
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Gene / Jean (as Timothy Thomerson)
Richard Kelton ...
Patricia Barnstable ...
Betty (as Tricia Barnstable)
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The Handmaiden (as Dana House)
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Storyline

The Head gives Quark a mission to spend an extended romantic interlude with a princess. Elated about his orders, Quark is later told by Palindrome that this is a secret mission to an unknown location. Quark and his crew set out from Perma One on the secret mission and along the trip they pick up a space baggie that they find in their way. But the bag they pickup gets jammed in the spacecraft's pickup door so Quark goes to fix the problem. When he is finished with the fix, Quark appears visibly older. This leads Ficus to conclude that Quark is aging at a rate of 2 years per hour due to a virus he encountered from the space baggie. Even though the crew attempts to cure Quark, all of their attempts fail. Quark is given final orders by Palindrome that he must complete an interlude with the beautiful and voluptuous Princess Carna in order to maintain a treaty with the dreaded Gorgons. Quark doubts that he can complete the mission, given his advancing age and senility, but he gives it a try... Written by H Pylypiw

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Comedy | Sci-Fi

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Release Date:

3 March 1978 (USA)  »

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1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Paula Prentiss played the female voice of Gene/Jean, the trans-mute. Prentiss is the real-life wife of Richard Benjamin. See more »

Goofs

Ficus is writing on the pad as Quark is speaking to him. When Ficus puts the pad down there is a blank page. See more »

Quotes

Adam Quark: How could this happen? What's my condition, Ficus? I've got to know!
Ficus: Sir, it would appear you are upset.
Adam Quark: That I know! I want to know why I came out of that hatch ten years older than when I went down.
Ficus: One explanation might be you were down there ten years.
Adam Quark: Ficus, I was down there five hours.
Ficus: That would rule out that theory.
See more »

Connections

Spoofs The Young and the Restless (1973) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Entertaining episode
23 August 2011 | by (The Last New Jersey Drive-In on the Left) – See all my reviews

Quark (a wonderfully droll and deadpan Richard Benjamin) contracts a mysterious virus that promptly causes him to age at an accelerated rate just as he's about to meet the beautiful Princess Carna (a nicely vampy portrayal by the ravishing Barbara Rhoades). Director Hy Averback, working from a smart and witty script by Bruce Kane, relates the amusing story at a constant quick pace and maintains an enjoyable lighthearted tone throughout. The cast are in solid form: Tim Thomerson has a few inspired moments alternating between his rugged macho guy and more shy female gal personalities as Gene/ Jean, Richard Kelton does well as the phlegmatic Ficus, Conrad Janis smarms it up deliciously as the unctuous Palindrome, Bobby Porter gets several huge laughs as sniveling coward robot Andy, and, best of all, Tricia and Cyb Barnstable are as sexy, vibrant, and delightful as ever as Betty I and Betty II, who are both understandably unhappy and jealous about Quark's latest assignment. Great running gag: All the aliens speak in odd tongues, yet everybody easily understands what they are saying anyway (a cute little hairball named Dink who talks in beeps is especially funny). Moreover, it's a riot to see Quark become more increasingly senile and wizened as the plot unfolds. The scrappy special effects possess a certain primitive charm. A fun show.


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