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Storyline
The Head has reason to believe that the dreaded Gorgons are behind a dastardly plot concerning the planet Polumbus, so he sends Quark on a suicide mission to the planet. When they reach Polumbus, the Betty's, Ficus, and Quark beam down to the planet, and strange occurrences start to happen. The Betty's become transfixed with two handsome dancing men and Quark is enchanted by a beautiful and tempting woman. They soon discover other starship commanders who are happy and content on Polumbus due to the presence of "The Limbicon." In short order, we find that Quark and his entire crew are involved in their own fantasies and adventures on Polumbus - Ficus with a math teacher, Adam with Diane from his academy days, to name a few. Adam concludes that all on Polumbus worship The Limbicon since it provides them pleasurable fantasies, which makes all of them find their own paradise, trapping them on Polumbus forever. Quark realizes that he must destroy The Limbicon, but he has to overcome his ... Written by
H Pylypiw
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Did You Know?
Trivia
The title, "Goodbye, Polumbus" is a take-off on the title of the Philip Roth novel and the 1969 film it was based on, "Goodbye, Columbus" which also starred
Richard Benjamin, the star of "Quark."
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Quotes
Gene:
Oh commander, this just isn't fair! We finally get a good suicide mission and I gotta hang up here with this little cowardly hunk of metal.
Andy the Android:
I am not offended. Cowards live longer.
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Connections
Spoofs
Goodbye, Columbus (1969)
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Quark (Richard Benjamin in fine dry form) and his flaky crew are sent on a mission to the planet of Polumbus. However, no one ever wishes to leave said planet after falling under the spell of various fantasies on the place. Director Hy Averback, working from a sharp script by Bruce Kane, relates the neat story at a constant snappy pace and maintains an entertaining tongue-in-cheek tone throughout. The cast have a ball with the bright material: Tim Thomerson does typically solid work as Gene/Jean, who's macho zeal really gets the best of him when he encounters his childhood hero Captain Zoltar (a nice appearance by former Tarzan Denny Miller); Richard Kelton likewise excels as the ever-stolid Ficus, who falls for a fetching math teacher (lovely Maggie Sullivan); Tricia and Cyb Barnstable are sexy treats as Betty I and Betty II, who look great in denim hot pants and get to do some amusingly bad dancing; Conrad Janis positively oozes as smarmball Palindrome, and Bobby Porter is hilariously spineless as coward robot Andy. In addition, Ty Randolph is simply ravishing as Quark's gorgeous dream girl Diana. Best gags: A hulking reptile alien who ages in reverse and Andy has a robot girlfriend named Mandy. Bonus points for the clever reference to "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry (there's a mention of a Roddenberry Bush). A hugely enjoyable show.