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Sam: [v.o] College is wasted on the young. Think of it: a four-year license to learn and have fun without the pressures of work and family.

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Dawn: I've never met a real superhero before. Hi, I'm Dawn Taylor.

Sam: Hi, I'm Arnold Watkins.

[they shake hands]

Dawn: Just how fast was that speeding car going?

Sam: Oh, it wasn't really going fast. I mean, when I got on it, it was standing still.

[Dawn leaps out and Alia leaps in]

Sam: You okay?

Mike: She's fine, she's fine. Her only problem is she's smelling your dirty socks, Arnold.

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Zoey: Frat boys, my favorite college subject.

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[Sam and Alia have met in the library, both unaware of who the other is]

Alia: I'm sorry Mike was such a jerk today.

Sam: Oh, it's not your fault.

Alia: Most of the time he's really sweet. He only acts macho when it comes to his fraternity.

Sam: Macho?

Alia: Yeah, I learned it last summer in Spain. It means manly, masculine, *macho*.

Sam: Yeah, well, he sure likes acting macho when he's out chicken racing with his buddies, doesn't he?

Alia: Yeah, you're not kidding.

Sam: Have you ever tried to talk him out of it?

Alia: He doesn't listen to me, I'm just his girl.

Sam: Oh yeah, right. It's the '50s.

[Alia gives Sam a puzzled expression]

Sam: I mean, I've got this feeling that someday, men are going to be much more receptive to the way women think.

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Zoey: Where the hell is he?

Alia: He'll be here.

Zoey: Nerds are nothing if not punctual.

Alia: Would you relax? I guarantee within five minutes, I'll have Arnold's slide rule fully extended.

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[Zoey and Alia have just discovered that Sam is Arnold, the person Alia was sent to kill]

Zoey: You know, Lothos is not too pleased with your prior performance concerning Dr. Beckett.

Alia: Well, then why the hell did he send me here?

Zoey: Seems to be as much of a surprise to Lothos as it is to us.

Alia: He's supposed to know everything.

Zoey: He does. Dr. Beckett's appearances follow the random even theory. It's just a fantastic stroke of luck... or maybe a little test to see if you've improved.

Alia: Just tell me my mission!

Zoey: Oh, don't tell me after all you've been through, you still...

Alia: Just tell me! I'm supposed to kill him, right? I'm supposed to blow his brains out?

Zoey: Afraid not, darling. Seems you weren't too successful with the gun last time. Perhaps a grenade or a flamethrower?

Alia: Zoey, just tell me!

Zoey: Lothos hasn't decided. But whatever happens, Beckett must not know that you're here, so you may not touch him. Pity.

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[the morning after "Arnold" enraged the Chi Kappas and Alia has discovered who he really is]

Mike: What's wrong with you?

Alia: Nothing.

Mike: Where'd you disappear to last night? I tried to call you.

Alia: I had a study date, or did you forget?

Mike: No, I didn't forget, but that was before your date tried to break up our initiation.

Alia: I know. I was there. It was hilarious watching you all plowing through the bushes looking for him with Arnold safely curled up in my backseat.

[Mike grabs Alia]

Alia: Get your hands off me.

Mike: This is me, baby. Mike, your guy.

Alia: My ex-guy.

Mike: Don't tell me you're hot for that wimp.

Alia: Oh, you'd be amazed, Mike. A man's performance on the basketball court has nothing to do with is performance in bed.

[half the students in the room gasp, the rest laugh]

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Sam: I saw you die.

Alia: It was worse than death.

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Sam: [v.o] We had leaped together and survived, but we still didn't know if Alia had leaped with me or if I had leaped with her. And being in a women's prison didn't make finding the answer to that any easier.

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Al: I've had Dr. Beeks do a little computer research on you.

Arnold: [looks at the handlink] Is that Dr. Beeks?

Al: No. Dr. Beeks is a person. She's a psychologist, she works here.

Arnold: So that's a computer.

Al: A terminal, yeah.

Arnold: It's amazing. The computer at the college takes up rooms and rooms.

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Mike: Congratulations, stud.

Sam: What did I do now?

Mike: I don't know, Arnold, just what did you do?

Sam: Nothing.

Mike: Right.

Alia: Don't be so modest, Arnie.

MikeSam: Arnie?

Alia: I'm not ashamed of what we did.

Mike: Oh, that does it. I want you, dweebo, today at the quarry! And bring your wheels!

Sam: If you wanna commit suicide, that's your problem.

Alia: That's not what you said last night.

Sam: What?

Alia: You said that Mike and his friends were just playing a bunch of crazy kids' games, that they had no idea what real danger was like.

Mike: I'll show you danger. The quarry, an hour!

[Mike storms out of the library]

Sam: Dawn, what's going on?

[Sam grabs Alia, allowing the two leapers to see each others' true forms]

Sam: Oh my god... Alia?

Alia: I didn't have a choice, Sam.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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