Zoey: Where the hell is he?
Alia: He'll be here.
Zoey: Nerds are nothing if not punctual.
Alia: Would you relax? I guarantee within five minutes, I'll have Arnold's slide rule fully extended.
Zoey: That's my girl.
Sam: [v.o] We had leaped together and survived, but we still didn't know if Alia had leaped with me or if I had leaped with her. And being in a women's prison didn't make finding the answer to that any easier.
Sam: [v.o] College is wasted on the young. I mean, think of it: a four-year license to learn and have fun without the pressures of work and family.
Dawn: I never met a real superhero before. Hi, I'm Dawn Taylor.
Sam: Hi, I'm... Arnold Watkins.
[they shake hands]
Dawn: Just how fast was that speeding car going?
Sam: Oh, it wasn't really going fast. I mean, when I got on it, it was standing.
[Dawn leaps out and Alia leaps in]
Sam: You okay?
Mike: She's fine, she's fine. Her only problem is she's smelling your dirty socks, Arnold.
[Sam and Alia are meeting in the library, both unaware of who the other is]
Alia: I'm sorry Mike was such a jerk today.
Sam: Oh, it's not your fault.
Alia: Most of the time he's really sweet. He only acts macho when it comes to his fraternity.
Alia: Yeah, I learned it last summer in Spain. It means manly, masculine, *macho*.
Sam: Yeah, well, he sure likes acting macho when he's out chicken racing with his buddies, doesn't he?
Alia: Yeah, you're not kidding.
Sam: Have you ever tried to talk him out of it?
Alia: He doesn't listen to me. I'm just his girl.
Sam: Oh, yeah, right. It's the '50s.
[Alia gives Sam a puzzled expression]
Sam: I mean, I've got this feeling that s-, that someday, men are gonna be much more receptive to the way women think.
[Zoey and Alia have just discovered that Arnold is actually Sam, who Alia has previously been instructed to kill]
Zoey: You know, Lothos is not too pleased with your prior performance concerning Dr. Beckett.
Alia: Well, then why the hell did he send me here?
Zoey: Seems to be as much of a surprise to Lothos as it is to us.
Alia: He's supposed to know everything.
Zoey: He does. Dr. Beckett's appearances follow the random event theory. It's just a fantastic stroke of luck - or maybe a little test to see if you've improved.
Alia: Just tell me my mission.
Zoey: Oh. Don't tell me, after all you've been through, that you still...
Alia: Just tell me. I'm supposed to kill him, right? I'm supposed to blow his brains out?
Zoey: 'fraid not, darling. Seems you weren't too successful with the gun last time. Perhaps a grenade or a flamethrower?
Alia: Zoey, just tell me!
Zoey: Lothos hasn't decided. But whatever happens, Beckett must not know that you're here, so you may not touch him. Pity.
[the morning after "Arnold" enraged the Chi Kappas and Alia has discovered who he really is]
Mike: What's wrong with you?
Mike: Where'd you disappear to last night? I tried to call you.
Alia: I had a study date, or did you forget?
Mike: No, I didn't forget. But that was before your date tried to break up our initiation.
Alia: I know. I was there. It was hilarious watching you all plowing through the bushes looking for him, with Arnold safely curled up in my backseat.
[Mike grabs Alia]
Alia: Get your hands off me.
Mike: This is me, baby. Mike. Your guy.
Alia: My ex-guy.
Mike: Don't tell me you're hot for that wimp.
Alia: Oh, you'd be amazed, Mike. A man's performance on the basketball court has nothing to do with his performance in bed.
Al: I've had Dr. Beeks do a little computer research on you.
Arnold: [looks at the handlink] Is that Dr. Beeks?
Al: No. Dr. Beeks is a person. She's a psychologist, she works here.
Arnold: So that's a computer.
Al: A terminal, yeah.
Arnold: It's amazing. The computer at the college takes up rooms and rooms.
Mike: Congratulations, stud.
Sam: What did I do now?
Mike: I don't know. I don't know, Arnold. Just what did you do?
Alia: Don't be so modest, Arnie.
Alia: I'm not ashamed of what we did.
Mike: Oh, that does it. I want you, dweebo, today at the quarry!
Sam: Just wait a minute...
Mike: And bring your wheels!
Sam: If you wanna commit suicide, that's your problem.
Alia: That's not what you said last night.
Alia: You said that Mike and his friends were just playing a bunch of crazy kids' games, that they had no idea what real danger was like.
Mike: I'll show you danger. The quarry, an hour!
[Mike storms out of the library]
Sam: Dawn, what's going on?
[Sam grabs Alia, allowing the two leapers to see each others' true forms]
Sam: My god... Alia?
Alia: I don't have a choice, Sam.
[Sam has just fallen off the hood of a driving car]
Mike: Just what the hell kind of stunt was that?
Sam: I don't know.
Frank: He must've landed on his head. Lucky it's empty.
Jack: You know, Mike Hammond called me on the phone about ten minutes ago, and you know what he said? He said that they weren't sure that they wanted to pledge anyone with such a monumental jerk as a roommate.
Sam: Why would you wanna pledge a fraternity that's full of idiots in the first place?
Jack: Full of what?
Al: You said the wrong thing, Sam. His dad was a Chi Kappa Delta idiot, and his granddad, and his great-granddad was a founding idiot.
Arnold: I'm talking about Michael of the Chi Kappas.
Al: Don't worry about him. He's taken care of.
Arnold: I believe you. You have the light of truth in your eyes.
Al: My ex-wives'd never say that.