Prisoner (TV Series)

Episode #6.40 (1984)

Maggie Kirkpatrick: Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Ann has just presented Colleen with her leaving gift at the farewell party when Colleen accidentally spills wine on Joan] 

  Colleen Powell : I'm sorry... I...

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Don't worry. You've still got some in your glass, or am I gonna cop that too?

  Colleen Powell : What?

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : It's typical of you, isn't it?

  Colleen Powell : I don't believe this.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : And I don't believe all of this. You've made your feelings perfectly clear. I wont impose on you any further.

  [Joan leaves] 

  Colleen Powell : [turning to everyone else at the party]  I'm not mad am I? Cold stone sober.

• Colleen Powell : About last night... it *was* an accident.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Yeah... perhaps I overreacted a little.

  Colleen Powell : No hard feelings.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Oh I wouldn't go so far as to say that. But I can understand you not wanting to leave under a cloud.

  Colleen Powell : Under a cloud? I was thinking of you.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Oh I see. Am old and trusted friend just wanting to clear the air, is that it?

  Colleen Powell : Oh how dare you!

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : You always did get excited easily, didn't you? Europe should suit you.

  [Colleen goes to leave] 

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Oh and... good luck.

• Ann Reynolds : Miss Ferguson... I think you'd better see this

  [hands her a newspaper] 

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Camilla Wells, eh? More truth justice and the Australian way I suppose?

  Ann Reynolds : Something like that.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : [reading the article]  Wentworth prison is considering appointing as it's deputy Governor... a woman of such callousness and such brutality that Hitler's Auschwitz will be by comparison be reduced to Kindergarten status...

  [slams down the paper] 

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Well, what'll they think of next?

  Ann Reynolds : Fortunately no names were used.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : [sarcastically]  Thank you, Governor! It's very obvious who she's referring to isn't it, otherwise why would you show it to me?

  Ann Reynolds : Not only you, I've also shown it to Mrs Morris.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : [scoffs]  It's pathetic! The prisoners leak a complete lie, and a fraud like Camilla Wells prints it in the interests of 'responsible journalism'.

  Ann Reynolds : Yes. Still... we've all been through it.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : The Department will see through it, wont they?

  Ann Reynolds : I honestly don't think it will affect their decision one way or the other.

• Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : [interrogating the women on the Camilla Wells article]  You Mitchell, you're a real little sneak, aren't you? After all I did spoil a thriving career in Sydney.

  [Cass rubs Bobbie's shoulder. Joan knocks her arm off] 

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Oh, c'mon now Parker, we don't stand for that sort of thing around here, do we Bryant? After all Parker... you've got that oaf from the country, haven't you? You wouldn't be interested in a little street tart carrying a bundle from a one night stand, now would you?

  Myra Desmond : You must be really worried. I mean with your record. I can't see why a little paragraph in the press is going to worry the Department.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : I'm not worried Desmond. I just wanna fond out who my friends are. And when I find out who did me that little... favour... I'll say thank you... in my own... special way. That is a promise.

  [Joan slowly walks out of the rec room] 

  Judy Bryant : God, who needs Mr Secker when we've got our own resident terrorist?

  Pixie Mason : She'll forget about it if she gets the job, won't she?

  Myra Desmond : [shaking her head]  Not her.

• Colleen Powell : [now in her civvies and clearing out her locker]  Well, never thought the day would come when I can say I'd miss this place, but I s'pose I will.

  Meg Morris : I know. It grows on you, doesn't it?

  Colleen Powell : Yes. Like warts.

  Meg Morris : [laughs]  Funny isn't it? What with all the headaches, dramas and frustrations this jobs sneaks up on you and nearly takes over your life.

  Colleen Powell : Ooh, it would be a different matter if you were leaving. I don't have the same rapport as you do with the women.

  Meg Morris : Oh, I dunno. I heard one of them say that this place won't be the same without old Po-Face around.

  Colleen Powell : [laughs]  Well, it's a charming epitaph, isn't it? I tell you what... when I throw a coin in the Trevi Fountain I'll make a wish for you.

  Meg Morris : And what's that going to be?

  Colleen Powell : May big Joan never become Governor permanently.

  Meg Morris : [as Joan enters]  Oh, if she ever does I'll be on the first jet out of here.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Perhaps you'd better leave now with your friend if you don't like the thought of working under me.

  Meg Morris : Oh wait a minute, you're not deputy Governor yet.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Well, don't wait on the formalities, you might miss that plane.

  Colleen Powell : [laughs]  Can't wait to step into my shoes, can you?

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Just being practical, because when I am deputy Governor, Mrs Reynolds will get the support she needs.

  Colleen Powell : [sarcastically]  Now that's not very complimentary to Meg.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Let's jus tsay that *I* don't let the women get away with murder.

  Colleen Powell : No. You don't have to reassure us of your strong arm tactics. We've had quite enough evidence of those in the past.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : I doubt that you would have been game to make that sort of accusation if you weren't opting out.

  [Ann's voice is heard over the com system summoning Meg and Joan to her office] 

  Colleen Powell : Well... good luck.

  Meg Morris : See you at home.

  [Meg and Joan leave. Colleen smiles] 

• Ann Reynolds : For once the Department has acted quite quickly. They've made their decision on Colleen's replacement already.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Well, that shouldn't have been too difficult even for them.

  Ann Reynolds : Yes, well there are lots of things to take into consideration, it's not just a matter of experience.

  Meg Morris : Of course.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : We understand that.

  Ann Reynolds : After all the job isn't just a back up position, as you know the deputies have to step in and cover on several occasions, so the Department is in fact selecting a potential Governor.

  [pause] 

  Ann Reynolds : Now I want to emphasise the officer who doesn't get the promotion... shouldn't take it as a reflection on her efficiency.

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : I'm sure any intelligent person would realise that.

  Ann Reynolds : [smiling]  Good, I felt sure I could rely on that reaction from you, Joan, and I know that you'll take Meg's appointment as deputy in just that spirit.

  [Joan's smug look turns to a stony expression. She looks to Meg who is quietly smirking beside her]