For those of you fortunate enough not to remember this series, let me give you the setup: in 2003, Fox aired a little show called The Pitts, it was a horribly misconceived sitcom about the unluckiest family in the world. Now, the only reason such an idiotic series was ever greenlit is because it was co-created by Mike Scully, who is noted for his work on The Simpsons. If anybody else had created this series, it would have been passed over without a second glance. If Mike and Julie's goal was to create the dumbest, most intentionally bad television show of all time, then I doff my hat to them because they succeeded, and since this show is now 18 years old, it can be tried as an adult. I've wanted to talk about this show for a while (a whole day in fact), and I'll do it with one of the few episodes I actually sat through: A Bug's Wife. Ha, where do I begin? How about at the beginning? Patriarch Bob strolls into the kitchen saying, "bills, bills, we keep getting Bill's mail." How classy, you stole a joke from King of the Hill, and on that show, the joke works because there's a character named Bill. There's nobody named Bill on The Pitts. What the hell? Next, he helps himself to a free cereal sample called Peanutty-O's, and he's allergic to peanuts so he starts having a spasm. Did I mention this guy works as a rocket scientist? Well, after wife Liz injects him with an Epi-Pen, Bob is back to abnormal and says "maybe Bill's gay." Um.. What?! Now their rotten kids, Faith and Petey come in, asking for a ride somewhere, and the former states they should have a second car, the parents respond about it being too expensive, you know the drill. However, as standard sitcom fare goes, Liz says she and Bob will match whatever Faith can save for her own car, even calling it "Operation: Car." I've heard of 'Dad jokes', but Mom jokes? I'm only kidding, that isn't a joke. That evening, as Faith is looking over what she saved for "Operation: Barbie Dream House" (don't ask), Petey comes into her room with a thousand dollars cash... which he got by both saving and playing gambling sites. Aw, his first felony, how cute. Anyway, he lets Faith have it in exchange for unlimited rides in her new car. Sounds fair. So now it's time for Bob and Liz to uphold their end of this crazy bargain. At the lot, Faith falls for a cute blue Volkswagen, but its price tag is $3,000. However, when Bob complains about the price, it magically changes to $2,000. The man caves, Faith is happy, and the car literally smiles about it.
If you didn't change the channel after that, we see Faith enjoying her new car... until it hits on her. I'm not joking, the VW starts talking to her and calls her pretty, by which she becomes flattered. Doesn't take much to please her, does it? Now before she left the house, her parents asked her to pick up packing tape for their store. Yes, apparently Bob got fired from being a rocket scientist and he and his wife own a Mailboxes Etc. Rip-off store called Mailboxes and More Plus. Must have stayed up all night coming up with that name. All of Faith's Bug flattery caused her to be late getting it, so the Pitts are bombarded with angry customers with no tape to seal their boxes. First world problems. That night, as Faith slept, the car put a ladder to her window and drove up it to look in on her... that's a sentence I just said. This haunted car really has issues, and he's a bad influence as he convinces her to cut school the next day and they, get this: play frisbee in the park, he pushes her on the swings, they go surfing. And if you didn't throw your TV out the window after seeing that, you're certainly down a few IQ points. When they get home, Bob and Liz are furious at Faith for skipping school and breaking curfew, so they forbid her from driving the car and stick a For Sale sign on it. Overreact much? Well, the teenage girl may be heartbroken, but the car won't give up so easily. He coaxes her into coming downstairs to sit in him, and that's when he pops the question. He gives her a diamond ring... just go with it. Faith says it can never be, as she's a human and he's a machine. Really? Because this seems like the type of world where people and cars could marry, as anything else seems possible. Doesn't she want the putt-putt of little Faith-wagens driving around the house? Well, VW won't take no for an answer, as it kidnaps her and drives to Las Vegas. At the drive-thru wedding chapel, the "priest" doesn't question the odd union of a woman to an automobile. Just then, Bob, Liz and Petey arrive to stop the ceremony, only VW takes off with Faith in the car, so they all hold on and go on a wild drive through Vegas... even up the side of the Luxor. Well, it pays to have a con artist for a little brother as Petey jimmys the door lock and frees Faith, then they all hop off just as VW drives into the Luxor's "laser beam" and blows up. Then they slide down the pyramid in triumph and return home, after receiving a lifetime ban from Vegas (hopefully), and Faith promises never to fall in love with an automobile again.
Okay... like I said before, I think this series was meant to be intentionally stupid and you have to turn off your brain to accept it, but even then, it's an insulting waste of time and money. The writing is beyond abysmal, the acting is so over-the-top it hits Pluto, and the premise is just really stupid. Okay, it's about a family with bad luck, but they seem to live in an alternate universe where the laws of physics and anything resembling reality don't exist, so they fit right in. What's the point? I think this series was conceived with Mike and his wife having a bet with Fox, saying, "we bet we can come up with a show so ludicrously bonkers that you won't greenlight it," and Fox called their bluff and did it anyway. As for acting, like I said, it's absolutely terrible. Dylan Baker, who you may remember as Owen from Planes, Trains & Automobiles plays Bob as a typical suburban husband and father but overplays him to such a ridiculous degree, you'd think he's a mental patient. At this rate, a spin-off about Owen would have been more enjoyable. Kellie Waymire, I feel sorry for her because she died in late 2003, so this horrible series was her swan song. Very tragic. Lizzy Caplan looks vaguely interested, like she knew this series was crap but needed the money anyway. The only performance and character I do kind of like is David Henrie as Petey, as he seems to be the only one who is actually trying, and Petey does have some kinda funny lines. So, do I recommend A Bug's Wife? Hell no, it's boring, it's stupid, it will make you question both reality and your own insanity. It's obvious they ripped the living VW off The Love Bug, but they went to absurd lengths. I like how the car says he's German, yet he obviously sounds black. Oh, and the license plate says 'Your State Here', obviously Mike Scully's influence from The Simpsons and the ever-growing mystery of what state Springfield is located in, but the obvious choice here is Pennsylvania, because they live in PITTSburgh. Get it? Hey, if the Scullys don't try, why should I? So, in closing, this episode and this series are beyond stupid, but it's hard to get mad at it, because it was intended to be so. Either way, avoid them at all costs.
If you didn't change the channel after that, we see Faith enjoying her new car... until it hits on her. I'm not joking, the VW starts talking to her and calls her pretty, by which she becomes flattered. Doesn't take much to please her, does it? Now before she left the house, her parents asked her to pick up packing tape for their store. Yes, apparently Bob got fired from being a rocket scientist and he and his wife own a Mailboxes Etc. Rip-off store called Mailboxes and More Plus. Must have stayed up all night coming up with that name. All of Faith's Bug flattery caused her to be late getting it, so the Pitts are bombarded with angry customers with no tape to seal their boxes. First world problems. That night, as Faith slept, the car put a ladder to her window and drove up it to look in on her... that's a sentence I just said. This haunted car really has issues, and he's a bad influence as he convinces her to cut school the next day and they, get this: play frisbee in the park, he pushes her on the swings, they go surfing. And if you didn't throw your TV out the window after seeing that, you're certainly down a few IQ points. When they get home, Bob and Liz are furious at Faith for skipping school and breaking curfew, so they forbid her from driving the car and stick a For Sale sign on it. Overreact much? Well, the teenage girl may be heartbroken, but the car won't give up so easily. He coaxes her into coming downstairs to sit in him, and that's when he pops the question. He gives her a diamond ring... just go with it. Faith says it can never be, as she's a human and he's a machine. Really? Because this seems like the type of world where people and cars could marry, as anything else seems possible. Doesn't she want the putt-putt of little Faith-wagens driving around the house? Well, VW won't take no for an answer, as it kidnaps her and drives to Las Vegas. At the drive-thru wedding chapel, the "priest" doesn't question the odd union of a woman to an automobile. Just then, Bob, Liz and Petey arrive to stop the ceremony, only VW takes off with Faith in the car, so they all hold on and go on a wild drive through Vegas... even up the side of the Luxor. Well, it pays to have a con artist for a little brother as Petey jimmys the door lock and frees Faith, then they all hop off just as VW drives into the Luxor's "laser beam" and blows up. Then they slide down the pyramid in triumph and return home, after receiving a lifetime ban from Vegas (hopefully), and Faith promises never to fall in love with an automobile again.
Okay... like I said before, I think this series was meant to be intentionally stupid and you have to turn off your brain to accept it, but even then, it's an insulting waste of time and money. The writing is beyond abysmal, the acting is so over-the-top it hits Pluto, and the premise is just really stupid. Okay, it's about a family with bad luck, but they seem to live in an alternate universe where the laws of physics and anything resembling reality don't exist, so they fit right in. What's the point? I think this series was conceived with Mike and his wife having a bet with Fox, saying, "we bet we can come up with a show so ludicrously bonkers that you won't greenlight it," and Fox called their bluff and did it anyway. As for acting, like I said, it's absolutely terrible. Dylan Baker, who you may remember as Owen from Planes, Trains & Automobiles plays Bob as a typical suburban husband and father but overplays him to such a ridiculous degree, you'd think he's a mental patient. At this rate, a spin-off about Owen would have been more enjoyable. Kellie Waymire, I feel sorry for her because she died in late 2003, so this horrible series was her swan song. Very tragic. Lizzy Caplan looks vaguely interested, like she knew this series was crap but needed the money anyway. The only performance and character I do kind of like is David Henrie as Petey, as he seems to be the only one who is actually trying, and Petey does have some kinda funny lines. So, do I recommend A Bug's Wife? Hell no, it's boring, it's stupid, it will make you question both reality and your own insanity. It's obvious they ripped the living VW off The Love Bug, but they went to absurd lengths. I like how the car says he's German, yet he obviously sounds black. Oh, and the license plate says 'Your State Here', obviously Mike Scully's influence from The Simpsons and the ever-growing mystery of what state Springfield is located in, but the obvious choice here is Pennsylvania, because they live in PITTSburgh. Get it? Hey, if the Scullys don't try, why should I? So, in closing, this episode and this series are beyond stupid, but it's hard to get mad at it, because it was intended to be so. Either way, avoid them at all costs.