Raviv Ullman: Phil Diffy

Quotes 

• Phil Diffy : [Phil runs up to some kid and grabs his burrito abruptly, thinking it's his missing Wizard, while burrito contents spill onto the floor]  Uh... Burrito Police! Routine Spot inspection... you're free to go.

  Keely Teslow : Phil! You can't just go around grabbing people's burritos!

• Pim Diffy : What if I told you I knew where it was?

  Phil Diffy : Thank you.

  Pim Diffy : And it's available for a reasonable price.

  Phil Diffy : Why do I think that "reasonable" means something different to you than it does to me?

  Pim Diffy : Well, for starters, I want your allowance for the month.

  Keely Teslow : Done.

  [Phil gives her a look] 

  Keely Teslow : Helping!

  Pim Diffy : [to Keely]  And I want yours too.

  Phil Diffy : Done.

  [Keely gives him a look] 

  Phil Diffy : Helping!

• Phil Diffy : Alright. I'm going in.

  Keely Teslow : [eagerly]  I'm going with you!

  [Phil looks skeptically at her] 

  Keely Teslow : We're in this together.

• Phil Diffy : Guys, we don't have to hide. There's gotta be a way to get the wizard back from Hackett. Oh!

  [everyone looks at him, thinking he has a plan] 

  Phil Diffy : I got nothing.

• Phil Diffy : Oh no!

  Keely Teslow : What?

  Phil Diffy : My wizard is not in my backpack!

  Keely Teslow : Phil, are you kidding me? After all we just went through?

  Phil Diffy : I don't know how this could happen... Again!

  Keely Teslow : Maybe it's in the gym? Didn't you say you used it to lengthen the width of that medicine ball? Hm?

  Phil Diffy : Yes! Yeah, good call...

  Keely Teslow : Yes.

  [Phil runs out of the room. Keely continues reading. Phil storms back in] 

  Phil Diffy : Nope.

  Keely Teslow : It's probably in home! You went back to get the science experiment you forgot. Yeah!

  Phil Diffy : Excellent memory! Excellent!

  [runs out again. Keely goes back to reading with a smile on her lips. Phil comes in three seconds later] 

  Phil Diffy : It's not at home! I checked everywhere.

  Keely Teslow : Hm.

  Phil Diffy : I am dead meat if I lose it again.

  Keely Teslow : Let's think about this... We did go off campus for lunch. Hm.

  Phil Diffy : Morocco! Thank you! What would I do without you?

  [Phil rushes to the door once again. Keely does her nails while Phil is out. It takes a few extra seconds before he comes in this time] 

  Keely Teslow : Did you find it?

  Phil Diffy : [finally realising]  Where is it?

  Keely Teslow : Oh, it's... someplace.

  [picks the wizard up. Phil takes it from her in a second while Keely laughs] 

  Phil Diffy : I'm giving you zits from head to toe.

  Keely Teslow : Oh no, you're not!

  Phil Diffy : Oh yeah. Great big zits.

  [Keely starts running, with Phil not far behind with the wizard, prepared to zit her]