[Mark tells Jeremy about how he was robbed]
Jeremy Usborne: Mark! You've got to toughen up. This is the 21st century. You've seen Mad Max, haven't you? That's what's going to happen!
Mark Corrigan: Mad Max is not necessarily going to happen.
Jeremy Usborne: Oh sure mate. You live in your Hitchikers' Guide world where you wander around in your dressing gown and have a nice cup of tea.
[Jeremy looks at Stu's muscular body]
Jeremy Usborne: [voiceover] Jesus. That's what a man should look like. Those arms. They're amazing. Like boughs of sturdy English oak. My God, if you had them wrapped round you, you'd just feel so safe.
Mark Corrigan: You know me, I'm old-fashioned, I like courting. Look, why don't we go to the pictures?
Sophie Chapman: [sarcastically] Sure, shall I bring a chaperone?
Jeremy Usborne: [voiceover] Good old Michelle. Cold, but comforting. Kind of like a friendly Dalek.
Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Please don't touch my floppy cock.
Mark Corrigan: [explaining to Sophie why he's carrying a knife] It's just, I'd like to learn kickboxing to protect myself, I just don't have the time. So, basically, what this is, is just a rather efficient time-saving device.
[Jeremy has gone to Michelle's to have a threesome and unexpectedly finds Big Suze there, but it turns out she's only Michelle's new lodger and the person who's really going to join Michelle and Jeremy in the threesome is some frumpy, unfriendly woman who won't even speak to him]
Jeremy Usborne: [voiceover] I will have had a threesome. I will have had a threesome.
Big Suze: So, Jez. A threesome. That'll be nice. My friend Jen did a threesome once, she said she cried for about an hour afterwards but I'd still definitely like to try it sometime.