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"Oz" A Cock and Balls Story (TV Episode 2000) Poster

(TV Series)

(2000)

Quotes

Chris Keller: Oz didn't make you a bitch. You were born one.

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Vern Schillinger: You are the guy who destroyed the statue, right?

Guillaume Tarrant: Yeah.

Vern Schillinger: Fucking sicko bastard.

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Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: [McManus has an engagement ring ready for Diane Whittlesey on the day she's scheduled to return from her two-week vacation in London with her daughter, but Peter Marie visits him at his office with some news] Well, you know, she and Didi were standing in front of Buckingham Palace and she got into a conversation with a guard.

Tim McManus: I thought they didn't talk.

Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: He was on break. Anyway, um, one thing led to another, and, um... they're going to get married.

Tim McManus: [smiles, laughs] Right.

Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: I'm serious.

Tim McManus: [stops, looks at her, face slowly drops, the words sink in] She's getting married... to a *Bobby?*

Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: No, no, not a Bobby, Tim. He's a guard. He guards the Queen!

Tim McManus: [hollers] Yeah, well, then I can see how they've got a lot in fucking COMMON! Oh, FUCK! Jesus fucking Christ! Did she leave a number?

Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: She doesn't want to talk to you.

Tim McManus: Yeah? Well, I've got a hell of a lot I wanna say to her!

Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: Which is why she doesn't wanna talk to you. She really feels very badly.

Tim McManus: [sarcastically] Oh, really?

Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: Now listen, Tim. Diane Whittlesey has not had an easy life. Poverty, spousal abuse, single motherhood, her mom dying after a very long illness. And just now on the phone, her voice - she sounded so happy.

Tim McManus: Happy. Sure.

[slowly exhales and sits back at his desk]

Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: If you need to talk...

Tim McManus: What I need is a drink.

[pulls a bottle of whiskey out from his desk drawer]

Sister Peter Marie Reimondo: Tim...

Tim McManus: Don't worry, Sister. This is what guys who've been dumped do in order to move on.

[pours himself a glass and raises it in a toast]

Tim McManus: Cheerio.

[downs it]

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Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler: Adebisi, you still got the gun?

Simon Adebisi: Lower your voice.

Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler: You still got it?

Simon Adebisi: Yes.

Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler: And when you gonna use it?

Simon Adebisi: I'm not.

Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler: Then what the fuck is the point of having a gun if you don't use the shit?

Simon Adebisi: If I use the gun, I end up in the hole, solitary or death row. No, our goal was to get rid of McManus, remember? To have a black man running Emerald City.

Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler: Yeah, like you can make that happen?

Simon Adebisi: I can, depending on who I get to shoot the gun, and who gets shot.

Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler: I don't understand, man.

Simon Adebisi: Of course you don't, Kenny. Of course you don't.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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