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Jed Perry: Did she give you a reason why she dumped you?

Rob Perry: Well, it's complicated. I'm not sure you'd understand.

Jed Perry: Try me.

Rob Perry: I slept with her best friend.

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Rob Perry: Let me tell you something. If this was Italy, we would not be having this conversation!

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Jed Perry: So it's, uh, it's been confirmed. It wasn't just imaginary. She is into me.

Philip W. Steffan: Well, congratulations, I guess that makes you like an official lesbian attraction. We should put a rope around you or something.

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Rob Perry: She's cute.

Jed Perry: Yeah, she's cute and she wants me.

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Cary Baston: I just went shopping.

Philip W. Steffan: [chewing] Right, I know. But Judy said that Cassie said if you don't go again...

Cary Baston: Whoa whoa whoa! Are they telling you to boss me around? And you're doing it? What? What's that about?

Philip W. Steffan: I thought we already went over this. Power through total submission, Cary? I have to do everything she says, and she will become dependant on me. Then I will be the master and she the slave. These are really delicious, by the way.

Cary Baston: [points at shopping list] Wait. What's that?

Philip W. Steffan: That is twelve boxes of tampons.

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Rob Perry: I am like a beast who has been too long nosing around in the sewer. I'm turning my snout upward. I am swimming toward the sunlight!

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Miranda Mills: Wow. I have never seen a pack of lesbians descend that quickly.

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Jed Perry: I mean, it's fine that Beth is a lesbian and that she wants to do that whole lesbian thing, but, Kate. I don't think Kate is one. Lesbian.

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Cary Baston: You know, I remember when this whole thing began, and all I wanted to was be your friend. I wanted to help her. I figured anyone who came off that hostile, underneath must be really lonely, you know, and scared. All I really wanted to do was make Cassie Schreiber feel safe. But, turns out I was wrong. Cassie Schreiber isn't scared, no no no, Cassie Schreiber is exactly what she seems: a mean, evil, double-crossing, sneaky woman! I hate her! I hope her breasts shrivel!

[gasps from the crowd]

Cary Baston: Well I do!

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Joely: Look, Jed, your brother. He's a certain type of guy, and that's fine. You... you're what my friends and I call a jelly donut. I mean, we're usually talking about chicks, but it still applies. With Rob, what you see is what you get, and there's always gonna be someone who only wants that. But you, you're gonna be with someone who wants more, because there's more inside you. You're gonna find someone who doesn't want things simple or easy or cut-and-dry. Someone like... Kate.

Jed Perry: You said yourself, I mean, you saw the way that Kate and Beth are when they're together.

Joely: I said that I saw the way Beth looks at Kate. But I also see the way Kate looks at you.

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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