Mrs Warboys: What's this? More paraphernalia?
Margaret Meldrew: [reads] 'Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents'. Some survey or other. I thought I'd fill it in while we're waiting for the x-rays.
Margaret Meldrew: 'Give a brief description of how the accident occurred.'
Mrs Warboys: A garden shed fell on him.
Margaret Meldrew: I put: Rotting timbers collapsed on head while dismantling old outhouse in rear garden.
Margaret Meldrew: 'Was the accident unavoidable or due to the patient's carelessness?'
Mrs Warboys: Carelessness. Put stupidity. That was asking for trouble in anyone's book, unscrewing all the nails in the building before you've taken the roof off.
Victor Meldrew: Seventy-two hours of non-stop madness, misery, and mayhem, beyond all belief.
Victor Meldrew: At least we've escaped from the worst horror of all.
[Victor opens the door and enters the living room]
Margaret Meldrew: We'll be out tomorrow evening with Jean at the BBC.
Victor Meldrew: Ye-es. I expect she's booked us into another real side-splitter, has she? Like the last show I went up there to see, it was supposed to be a glitter evening at Television Centre; the most exciting moment was urinating next to Peter Sissons.