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"The Office" The Fire (TV Episode 2005) Poster

(TV Series)

(2005)

Quotes

Dwight Schrute: [to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire"] Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe! Ryan started the fire!

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Phyllis: [the employees are listing what books they would like to read on a desert island] "The Da Vinci Code."

Angela: "The Da Vinci Code." I would take "The Da Vinci Code," so I could burn "The Da Vinci Code."

Dwight Schrute: Okay, great. That's gonna keep you warm for, like, seven seconds.

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Dwight Schrute: Question: is there firewood on the island?

Jim Halpert: I guess.

Dwight Schrute: Then I would bring an ax, no books.

Jim Halpert: No, it has to be a book, Dwight.

Dwight Schrute: Fine. "Physician's Desk Reference."

Jim Halpert: Nice. Smart.

Dwight Schrute: Hollowed out. Inside, waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and, in case I get bored, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." No, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." Question: did my shoes come off in the plane crash?

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Jim Halpert: [leading games during a fire drill] All right, let's move on. Let's move on to the main event, "Who would you do?"

Kevin: Present company excluded?

Jim Halpert: Not necessarily.

Kevin: Pam.

Oscar: Pam.

[cut to look of shock on Pam's face]

Jim Halpert: Um... Okay. You know what? Maybe I'll finish explaining the rules. Let me explain it first and then...

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Michael Scott: [the members of the office are playing a game of "Who would you do?"] Roy? Who would you do, Roy?

Roy: Oh, I got it. What's the name of that tight-ass Christian chick? The blonde?

Angela: [angrily] My name is Angela.

Roy: [without shame] Hey, Angela.

[gesturing to himself]

Roy: Roy, nice to meet you.

Michael Scott: All right, who's next? Who's next? Who's next? Who's... Jim? You're next. Who would you do?

Jim Halpert: [There is an awkward pause] Um, Kevin, hands down.

[the group begins to laugh]

Jim Halpert: Yeah, I mean, he's really got that teddy bear thing going on and afterwards we could just watch bowling.

Michael Scott: Well, I would definitely have sex with Ryan,

[the group stops laughing and Ryan makes an uncomfortable expression]

Michael Scott: 'cause he's gonna own his own business.

Roy: [the camera pans to Roy who is the only one left laughing] You're all gay.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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