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"The Office" The Alliance (TV Episode 2005) Poster

(TV Series)

(2005)

Quotes

Jim Halpert: At that moment, I was so happy. I mean, everything Dwight does annoys me.

Dwight Schrute: [next scene] Did you get your tickets?

Jim Halpert: To what?

Dwight Schrute: The gun show.

[lifts up his sleeve and kisses his arm]

Jim Halpert: [back to interview] And I spend hours thinking of ways to get back at him but only in ways that would get me arrested. And then here he comes and he says, "No, Jim, here's a way."

Michael Scott: No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. As a doctor, you wouldn't tell a patient that they had cancer.

Pam Beesly: This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course, by saying that, she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.

Dwight Schrute: Can I trust Jim? I don't know. Do I have a choice? No, frankly, I don't. Will I trust Jim? Yes. Should I trust Jim? You tell me.

Michael Scott: Mint chocolate chip!

Jim Halpert: You are not going to believe this.

Dwight Schrute: What? I believe it.

Jim Halpert: Well, tensions were high in the kitchen.

Dwight Schrute: I could tell from the body language.

Jim Halpert: [in the kitchen] That looks good. What is it? Turkey?

Kevin: Italian.

Jim Halpert: Oh, Italian. Nice. Wow! You got the works there. Red onion. Provolone...

Kevin: Yeah.

[back outside]

Jim Halpert: Toby and Kevin, they're trying to get Angela kicked off.

Dwight Schrute: Good. Let 'em. That's fine. It helps our cause.

Jim Halpert: Well, I don't know, because if Kevin's in Accounting and Toby's in Human Resources and they're talking...

Dwight Schrute: They're forming an alliance.

Toby: [back in kitchen] I love their sandwiches.

Jim Halpert: I love their sandwiches too.

Kevin: Their bread's really good.

Jim Halpert: Their bread is very good.

Dwight Schrute: [back outside] Damn it. God. Gah!

[kicks car and car alarm sounds]

Jim Halpert: Okay, listen. We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.

Dwight Schrute: God damn it! Why us?

Jim Halpert: Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong!

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Dwight Schrute: So, what do you guys hear? What's the scuttlebutt?

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Phyllis: Well, for decorations, maybe we could - it's stupid, forget it.

Angela: What?

Phyllis: Oh, I was just gonna say maybe we could have streamers, but that's dumb, everybody has streamers. Never mind.

Angela: No, yeah, I think that's a good idea. What color do you guys think?

Phyllis: Well, there's green... blue... yellow... red.

Pam Beesly: How about green?

Angela: I think green is kind of whoreish.

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Dwight Schrute: I'm a deer hunter, I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer? They have very good vision. One thing about me? I'm better at hiding than they are at vision.

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Michael Scott: You know, if I were allergic to dairy, I think I'd kill myself.

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Michael Scott: I need something kind of embarrassing, you know. Kind of fun, inside.

Dwight Schrute: She had a hysterectomy.

Michael Scott: Which one is that again?

Dwight Schrute: That's when they remove the uterus.

Michael Scott: Oh, God! Dwight, no.

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Dwight Schrute: It's a real shame, 'cause studies have shown that more information is passed through water-cooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because...

[picks up water bottle]

Dwight Schrute: I bring my own water to work.

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Pam Beesley: I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course, by saying that, she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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