Dawn: Tim's advice is that it is better to be at the bottom of a ladder you want to climb then half way up one you don't.
David Brent: Well, there's good news and bad news. The bad news is that Neil will be taking over both branches, and some of you will lose your jobs. Those of you who are kept on will have to relocate to Swindon, if you wanna stay. I know, gutting. On a more positive note, the good news is, I've been promoted, so... every cloud. You're still thinking about the bad news aren't you?
Keith: It's the end of the financial year and spirits are in the sky.
[there is a possibility that the Slough offices will be downsized with redundancies]
Gareth: You're all smug now. You're moving away. But think of me, the shoe could be on the other foot.
Tim: You're going to be all right, aren't you?
Gareth: Yeah, I work hard, I earn my keep. But unfortunately, the history books are full of just people who toil and fight for worthy causes and the freedom of others.
Tim: That's the most profound thing you've ever said, mate.
Gareth: And you do all that, only for foreigners of women or the disableds to take advantage of it.
Tim: Yeah. Could I withdraw my last comment?
Jennifer Taylor-Clark: I know that you're very loyal to your family here.
David Brent: I'd be loyal to his family, it's one big family.
Jennifer Taylor-Clark: I'm just sensitive to the fact that you have strong, let's say emotional ties to your team.
David Brent: Well, yeah, but there is the emotion as good in business syndrome, sure, notwithstanding the cruel to be kind scenarios...
Jennifer Taylor-Clark: I'm sorry David, you've lost me.
David Brent: Well, you're not looking at the whole pie Jenny. Wernham-Hogg is one big pie, and if they've let me in charge of that one big pie, then I'll be in charge of the pie, and the people are the fruit...
Jennifer Taylor-Clark: I don't have time for the pie thing David.
David Brent: Yeah, oh, well I'll take the job please.
[in a meeting, discussing the board voting 5-2 in favour of Brent taking Taylor-Clark's job]
David Brent: What's five out of seven as a percentage?
[Brent checks calculator]
Jennifer Taylor-Clark: Er... 70%.
David Brent: 71.4. So...
Jennifer Taylor-Clark: Call Susan and arrange the meet with the board and finalise all the details. Congratulations and good luck.
David Brent: You don't need luck when you've got 71.4% of the population behind you.
David Brent: You grow up, you work half a century, you get a golden handshake, you rest a couple of years and you're dead. And the only thing that makes that crazy ride worthwhile is 'Did I enjoy it? What did I learn? What was the point?' That's where I come in. You've seen how I react to people, make them feel good, make them think that anything's possible. If I make them laugh along the way, sue me. And I don't do it so they turn round and go 'Thankyou David for the opportunity, thankyou for the wisdom, thankyou for the laughs.' I do it so, one day, someone will go 'There goes David Brent. I must remember to thank him.'