Chris Stevens: Marriage. It's a hard term to define. Especially for me; I've ducked it like root canal. Still, there's no denying the fact that marriage ranks right up there with birth and death as one of the three biggies in the human safari. It's the only one, though, that we'll celebrate with a conscious awareness. Very few of you remember your arrival, and even fewer of you will attend your own funeral. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Ndembo, Pennsylvania Dutch. What's the one thing they all have in common? Marriage. It's like a cultural handrail. It links folks to the past and guides them to the future. That's not all, though. Marriage is the union of disparate elements. Male and female. Yin and yang. Proton and electron. What are we talking about here? Nothing less than the very tension that binds the universe. You see, when we look at marriage, people, we're are looking at creation itself. "I am the sky," says the Hindu bridegroom to the bride. "You are the earth. We are sky and earth united."
Chris Stevens: You are my husband.
Chris Stevens: You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind think because of you, and I shall love because of you. Now, are you guys cool with that?
[They nod happily]
Chris Stevens: Then kiss!
Eve: It was none of your business!
Adam: None of my business? Why was I cursed with a woman like you! You're nothing but a misery! You're a knife in my heart! Look, let's discuss this later. Let's just get married now.