- Neil: Great, thanks for the lift, Tom, you saved me a walk from the station, mate.
- Neil: [addressing the camera] Morning! hey, good to see you again, I've been on holiday, haven't I? Oh it was fantastic. The sun, the nightlife, the food... the signoritas!
- Neil: [makes castanets movements with his fingers] Hey hey hey! Yeah, Im definitely going to Croydon again next year for me holidays... Brilliant.
- Neil: What's going on?
- Fred the Postman: This, Neil is:
- [singing]
- Fred the Postman: Wonderful Radio Shed!
- Kim: Oh, terrible Radio! Naf! it's awful!
- Eazi Target: It's community radio!
- Fred the Postman: Yeah, would you like a request?
- Kim: Yes, I would actually: stop!
- Fred the Postman: This is wireless, only... with wires. It's like hospital radio.
- Neil: Yeah, it's making me sick!
- Kim: Look, how many people do you think are actually listening to this station?
- Fred the Postman: Well there's you two.
- [the doorbell rings]
- Kim: Yes... one!
- [leaves for the front door]
- Eazi Target: We've just lost half our audience!
- Neil: You've just lost all your audience.
- [walks off]
- Fred the Postman: What are we going to do to make this station viable?
- Eazi Target: We need street cred, Fred!
- Fred the Postman: You mean middle of the road?
- Eazi Target: No, if we stand in the middle of the road we get run over!
- Fred the Postman: Just one or two little technical adjustments to do on my woovers and tweeters...
- Kim: Okay, you go do that, your woofers and tweeters... must be the animal spot.
- Neil: [singing] Salt and vinegar, green mushy peas, scallops and chips all covered in grease. A big fat sausage, the curry's the biz, frying tonight, the Chip Butty Quiz!