Night Gallery (1969–1973)
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An employment service has a difficult time fulfilling a customer's request for staff. This segment was sometimes used to replaces the controversial "Witches' Feast" segment.




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Episode credited cast:
Cathleen Cordell ...
Mrs. Mount
Marion Charles ...
Miss Walters
Leigh Christian ...
Miss Ransom
Eva Curtis ...
Miss Caraway (as Eve Curtis)
Cherie Franklin ...
Miss Blodgett
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Himself - Host


A well-dressed gentleman presents himself at a secretarial agency that hasn't failed to satisfy a client in twenty-five years. But this dapper client isn't looking for superior typing or shorthand skills, nor even for a young woman with a slim and sexy figure. What exactly does he want? Written by Morganalee

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Release Date:

22 March 1972 (USA)  »

Company Credits

Production Co:

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Technical Specs

Sound Mix:



Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


This is the only Night Gallery (1969) segment listed for telecast on 22 March 1972. The rest of this one-hour show consisted of stories previously run on 22 September 1971, namely Night Gallery: Death in the Family/The Merciful/Class of '99/Witches' Feast (1971) with this one replacing "Witches' Feast." See more »


Customer: [as a plump young woman enters and bends before a filing cabinet, her purple-polyester-clad bottom expanding before their eyes as she does so] What about that girl?
Mrs. Mount: Miss Blodgett - oh. She's only a filing clerk.
Customer: Doesn't matter.
Mrs. Mount: She doesn't take shorthand.
Customer: Makes no difference.
Mrs. Mount: But she can't type!
Customer: Nobody's perfect.
Mrs. Mount: Her handwriting's illegible! She brews a perfectly indigestible cuppa coffee!
Customer: I think the amount of this check will make further conversation unnecessary, Mrs. Mount.
Mrs. Mount: You want her? You ...
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User Reviews

Not Likely
12 November 2014 | by (North America) – See all my reviews

Odd to see this segment listed separately from the other episodes, as it was used as a replacement for the dreadful original one called 'Witches' Feast'. This really should have been included with that episode, since it is only a few minutes long, and not intended to be its own episode, but oh well, I'll review it like this anyway! Victor Buono plays a portly man who seems dissatisfied with the attractive but slim secretarial candidates, until the last one comes up, who is quite plump and unattractive, just as he wants... No guarantee is more the case here in entirely unfunny, bizarre, and pointless vignette that is just marginally better than most of its kind.

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