Bill: [singing to the tune of Yankee Doddle] William Clinton came to town, riding on inflation. Took a town named Whitewater, introduced it to our nation.
Andrea: Actually, I brought Steve over to help you, Dave.
Dave Nelson: Oh, so he's going to assist me.
Andrea: [laughing] That's a cute way of putting it.
Dave Nelson: Bill, I would like you to meet Steve Johnson.
Bill: Hi, Steve.
Steve Johnson: [Stretches out his hand to Bill] Hello, Bill.
[Bill punches out Steve]
Dave Nelson: That was your plan?
Bill: I panicked.
Dave Nelson: Yeah, well, you can't just...
Bill: I only did it for you, Dave.
Dave Nelson: Yeah, that's what John Hinckley said.
Bill: Which reminds me of a little song...
Dave Nelson: Don't!
Bill: What kind of fire water have you been drinking there, Little Chief?
Dave Nelson: What kind of job are you lined up for, anyway?
Bill: I'm working on an act.
Dave Nelson: I thought your whole life was an act.
Dave Nelson: Why is it that everyone's solution to everything around here is some sort of covert plan?
Joe Garrelli: That's a secret.
Joe Garrelli: [as Beth takes down a photo of Matthew as employee of the month] This is so depressing.
Dave Nelson: I recall that's what you said when we put the picture up in the first place.
Dave Nelson: That's a very cunning plan, but now is not the time for cunning plans or crazy capers.
Lisa Miller: Dave, you never want cunning plans or crazy capers.
Dave Nelson: Bill, I have asked you, I have begged you, now I am ordering you. Get that piano out of here. And Matthew, if you don't get out of this building right now, I will call security!
[Matthew comes out from behind a plant and runs away]
Bill: [singing to Oh Suzanna] Oh, Joe Camel / Don't you cry for me / You gave my uncle cancer / But you'll pay the lawyer's fee.
Jimmy James: These guys, they've done documentaries about all the heavy hitters. Talking about, Ted Turner, Bill Gates, Rupert Murdoch, Bruce Wayne...
Dave Nelson: Sir, Bruce Wayne is Batman.
Jimmy James: Ssshh!
Bill: [singing] Silent night / Religious right / Jesse Helms / Sleeps tonight...
Bill: [singing] Madeline Albright.