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(TV Series)

(1998)

Quotes

Bill: None of us really died.

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Dave: Look, it's only a birthday present. It just means I'm glad you didn't die partway through the year.

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Jimmy James: You know, despite what Joe says, I think the boat is sinking.

Dave: Well, that's what I've been saying all along. What made you come around?

Jimmy James: Well, I think it was when Joe drowned.

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Bill: Hello, Jim. You're not looking too well.

Lisa Miller: He's dead.

Bill: Oh, well then he looks great.

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Dave: I realized that there were some things in life that you can't find in the afterlife.

Lisa Miller: Like love?

Dave: No, coffee. Speaking of which, do you have any?

Lisa Miller: Love?

Dave: No, coffee.

Lisa Miller: No, I don't. Sorry.

Dave: Well, then what's the point?

[Sinks back down]

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Lisa Miller: Sorry I'm late. My chambermaid couldn't get my corset laced.

Matthew Brock: I hear that.

Lisa Miller: Matthew, you wore a corset?

Matthew Brock: Not any more, I can tell you that much.

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Dave: All I'm saying, and this goes for all of you, is that there have been iceberg sightings.

[all laugh]

Lisa Miller: Icebergs? Please, Dave, get real.

Matthew Brock: [mocking] Look out! I'm a big old iceberg and I'm coming to get Dave!

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Dave: Matthew, you're not going to find any icebergs with your nose buried in that nefarious scandal sheet.

Matthew Brock: Aw, gee whiz!

Dave: Matthew! What have I told you about swearing on this vessel? I will not have it.

Matthew Brock: Darn.

Dave: Matthew!

Matthew Brock: Shucks!

Dave: Well, I never!

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Jimmy James: I have a date later with that Molly Brown chick from upstairs.

Dave: How's that going?

Jimmy James: Second base. I hear she's into the suffragist movement, so I'm guessing she's a little hot to trot.

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Joe Garrelli: The hull alone is made of over 200 miles of duct tape.

Jimmy James: I thought we were going with steel for the hull?

Joe Garrelli: Steel isn't waterproof.

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Bill: Hold that boat! I've got a heart condition, and I'm a woman!

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Lisa Miller: Well, I'm making a swim for it. Which way's New York?

Matthew Brock: There it is over there.

Lisa Miller: Matthew, that's an iceberg!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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