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"NewsRadio" Rat Funeral (TV Episode 1995) Poster

(TV Series)

(1995)

Quotes

Bill: Say, Dave, maybe after work you'd like to go by the zoo and *shoot goats*?

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Bill: You're not in Wisconsin, Dave. The big story isn't about a cow wandering into the town square.

Dave: Bill, you know, I worked in Milwaukee; you know, it's a city with a population of a million people.

Bill: So that must have been quite a hub-bub when that cow got loose, huh?

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Jimmy: Hey, Bill. What's the word?

Bill: Thunderbird, sir.

Jimmy: There you go.

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Dave: I've got plenty of heart.

[after Bill comments he probably doesn't have one]

Bill: Said the Tinman to the Wizard. But you probably hated that movie, didn't you?

Dave: No, actually, I quite enjoyed that movie

Bill: By the way, Dave, I checked the box on my driver's license; if anything should ever happen to me...

[pats his chest]

Bill: ...it's all yours.

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[Dave hugs Joe from behind]

Joe Garrelli: Dave?

Dave: I'm here, Joe.

Joe Garrelli: The last guy to touch me like that got thrown through a plate-glass window.

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Dave: Are you sure it's Mike?

Joe Garrelli: It's Mike, all right. Missing most of his tail, white with a racing stripe. Now he's got a really weird surprised look on his face.

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Bill: So, I guess it's business as usual for you. To you, it must have been like stepping on a bug, except this bug had friends and a personality. And it wasn't so much a bug as a rat.

Dave: Look, Bill, I feel bad, all right. I feel terrible.

Bill: Oh, come now - you feel nothing. For you this was like stepping on a bug. Only this bug had a name and a personallity, and was a rat rather than a bug.

Dave: Look, Bill, what do you expect me to do? I mean, what can I do?

Bill: Also you didn't step on it, it died in a trap.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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