Jimmy: Dave, I don't know if you've noticed this, but most of the stuff I do is weirder than hell.
Dave Nelson: Wait a minute, this isn't one of your weird nephews, is it?
Jimmy: No, no, no... yes. This is one of my normal nephews. I tell you, he's so normal he makes Richie Cunningham look like a crack-smoking porn freak.
Dave Nelson: Why did you do that?
Bill McNeal: It's just a little harmless hazing, and as far as hazings go, pouring hot coffee and hot sauce on someone's head is relatively mild.
Lisa Miller: You put hot sauce in there?
Bill McNeal: No.
Bill McNeal: I remember this one time in college we got this pledge drunk, tied him up, locked him in the trunk of a car, abandoned the car in a junkyard...
Dave Nelson: And then?
Bill McNeal: What?
Dave Nelson: How did he get out of the car?
Bill McNeal: [Beat] You know what, I gotta make a phone call.
Lisa Miller: You look very Casablancaesque.
Matthew Brock: I was going for more of a Bugsy Malone look.
Dave Nelson: Beth, what is your problem with Walt?
Beth: Isn't it obvious? I've been working here for five years making next to nothing, and this new guy waltzes in...
Dave Nelson: Beth, he makes nothing.
Beth: You see? Already he almost makes almost as much as I do.
Bill McNeal: Uncle Jimmy? I didn't know we were bringing in one of Jimmy's boy toys...
Dave Nelson: Bill! Mr. James doesn't have boy toys. This is actually one of Jimmy's nephews.
Bill McNeal: Oh. Because I thought...
Dave Nelson: I don't care what you thought.