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"NewsRadio" Hair (TV Episode 1999) Poster

(TV Series)

(1999)

Quotes

Dave Nelson: Joe, you do not know hypnotism.

Joe Garrelli: Sure I do. Watch this. Chicken.

[Matthew clucks like a chicken]

Joe Garrelli: Human.

Matthew Brock: What up?

Jimmy James: That's very impressive.

Joe Garrelli: Thank you.

Dave Nelson: No, Joe just told him to do that.

Joe Garrelli: Dave, with Matthew, telling him to do something is hypnotism.

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[after the hypnotism session, Matthew is left acting like a chicken]

Lisa Miller: What about Matthew?

Dave Nelson: I think he's happier that way.

Lisa Miller: You think so?

Dave Nelson: Well, I'm happier to have him that way, in any rate.

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Beth: All dogs are male, all cats are female.

Lisa Miller: Daisy is most definitely, and I mean definitely, a girl.

Max Lewis: We're not disputing that. It's not a matter of sex, it's a matter of gender.

Lisa Miller: Sex and gender are the same thing.

Max Lewis: Not so. I definitely prefer sex to gender.

Lisa Miller: Well, seeing as you have neither, that must be very sad for you.

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Dave Nelson: Joe, Mr. James is a human being, not your personal plaything.

Joe Garrelli: We'll just keep that our little secret.

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Dave Nelson: Beth, what are you doing?

Beth: Lisa's puppy is licking peanut butter off my hand.

Dave Nelson: Oh, Lisa?

Lisa Miller: [Comes out of Dave's office with puppy] Yeah?

Beth: Ew!

Max Lewis: [Coming out from under table] For future reference, I prefer chunky.

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Matthew Brock: Look, Mr.James! Over there! It's Vietnam!

Jimmy James: Joe, Matthew is making me see Vietnam in the foyer!

Joe Garrelli: What? Matthew, Vietnam is not in the foyer.

Matthew Brock: I just calls it like I sees them.

Joe Garrelli: Mr. James, that is not Vietnam.

Jimmy James: Then what is it?

Joe Garrelli: It's a magical candy land with gumdrop mountains.

Jimmy James: Oh, yeah. Thanks, Joe.

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Lisa Miller: Dave, I'm not too strict with Daisy, am I?

Dave Nelson: No, I think you obviously care for that dog.

Lisa Miller: I don't feed her donuts like Beth does.

Dave Nelson: Well, Beth likes cleaning up puppy vomit better than you do.

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Matthew Brock: I thought hippies were cool.

Jimmy James: They're not, they are pure evil with hatred in their hearts.

Matthew Brock: Wow. Live and learn.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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