When parliament's man of the moment, Alan B'Stard, flies to California....



Watch Now

From $1.99 (SD) on Amazon Video


Add Image Add an image

Do you have any images for this title?



Episode cast overview:
Lou Hirsch ...
Houghton Mifflin
Donna Nightingale
Mac McDonald ...
William Sleigh ...
Lewis Hancock ...
Elevator Attendant


B'stard, with Piers in tow, flies to Hollywood to pitch the idea of a Parliament-based soap opera to producer Houghton Mifflin - who rejects it. B'stard's luck changes when actress Donna Nightingale invites him in for sex but he gets locked out of her house in his underwear whilst getting her tranquillizers from her car and is arrested for indecent exposure and attempted burglary. Piers comes to bail him out but is also arrested for possession of cocaine, the inhalation of which turns him into a violent Royalist. Thus when B'stard goads the sheriff into calling a gay prisoner 'an ugly old queen' Piers attacks him and the pair escape back to England. Written by don @ minifie-1

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis







Release Date:

12 February 1989 (UK)  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs



See  »

Did You Know?


Donna Nightingale: Chain me to the bed, will you?
Alan B'Stard: What?
Donna Nightingale: I need to be restrained; it helps me feel unrestrained. I need bonds of steel to hold me down once I get started or I'll tear you to shreds!
Alan B'Stard: Oh, I love it! This is just like the movies.
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

This FAQ is empty. Add the first question.

User Reviews

Go west young B'stard!
30 November 2010 | by (Ambrosia) – See all my reviews

This is the wrong place to pay tribute to the great Leslie Neilsen, who passed away on Monday, but until I get round to doing a full review of the first 'Naked Gun' movie I'll just say for now that he will be greatly missed. Bet he's making them laugh in Heaven right now.

This episode has Alan and Piers jetting off to sunny California. Alan is as contemptuous of Americans as he is of poor people. At a party thrown by big-shot Hollywood producer Houghton Miffin ( Lou Hirsch ), he insults the host. Piers gets high on cocaine, and attacks Miffin when he insults the Queen. Alan gets off with the stunning soap actress Donna Nightingale ( Julianne White ) and goes to her apartment for some action. She is into Bondage and insists he chain her to the bed. Alan is made to go back to her car to find her drugs, and gets locked out. Just as a police patrol car is approaching...

In earlier times this might have been the plot of a spin-off film. The production team does a reasonable job in recreating California, certainly better than 'Duty Free' Spain. With Alan and Piers in a foreign land, the opportunities for political humour are severely limited ( apart from a few cracks about Vice President Dan Quayle ), and the pair come across as fish out of water, making this a rather unusual instalment. Mac McDonald ( 'the Sheriff' ) was 'Captain Hollister' in the first episode of 'Red Dwarf'. William Sleigh is particularly good as 'Castro', the pervert Alan finds himself sharing a cell with.

Funniest moment - locked out of Donna's apartment, Alan sees the police coming and tries to dispose of her drugs by swallowing the whole bottle!

2 of 3 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

Contribute to This Page

Create a character page for: