The purpose of Alan's USSR tour is to spread the gospel of Capitalism according to B'Stard, as well to acquire several thousand rubles by selling off video cassettes of his free-market sermons.

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Alan B'Stard
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Piers Fletcher-Dervish
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Sarah B'Stard
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Colonel Gromyko
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Freddy Ogilvy
Joanna Kanska ...
Ludmilla
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Messenger
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With the fall of Communism B'stard is sent on a trade mission to Moscow, where he also hopes to sell his videos on how to succeed in business. But MI5 boss Ogilvy and KGB head Gromyko are unhappy that President Gorbechev is ending the Cold War and hire B'stard to assassinate him with a bomb hidden in a commemorative plaque, which is to be presented to Gorbechev. B'stard persuades Piers to make the presentation but the bomb goes off prematurely, destroying the money given to B'stard to kill the president. He and Piers are arrested and sentenced to imprisonment in Siberia though Ogilvy and Sarah arrange for Piers to be released, leaving B'stard to his fate. Written by don @ minifie-1

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Comedy

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10 February 1991 (UK)  »

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Back in the U.S.S.R.
10 January 2011 | by (Ambrosia) – See all my reviews

Well, 2011 is just over one week old and already we've had several notable deaths; Anne Francis, Gerry Rafferty, Peter Yates, and Pete Postlethwaite. I watched 'Brassed Off' again the other night and Pete's final speech was incredibly moving, doing more to undermine the Tory Government than Labour managed in the whole of the '80's.

'A Profit Of Boom', the final episode of Season 3, takes Alan off to Russia as part of a trade programme called 'Soviet Relief'. Piers was meant to go instead until Alan pulled a few strings and had him posted to Northern Ireland with the Territorials. Alan sees the trip as an opportunity to promote British business interests, his own mainly. His interpreter, the lovely Ludmilla ( Joanna Kanska ), lures him to Lenin's Tomb ostensibly to have sex. Drunken M15 boss Freddy Ogilvy ( Mark Kingston ) and KGB Colonel Gromyko ( Kevin McNally ) want Alan's help in assassinating Premier Mikhail Gorbachev before he can put them out of work by ending the Cold War completely...

Gorbachev was indeed the man who single-handedly ended the Cold War ( not Ronald Reagan as some poor deluded fools insist ) by introducing 'glasnost' ( openness ). The '90's began with the joyous spectacle of the Berlin Wall being brought down by the very people it was intended to imprison. As a matter of fact there was an attempted coup in Russia about this time, but thankfully it was unsuccessful. The episode ends with Alan a prisoner in the Gulag, left to rot while Piers flies home with Sarah. The end credits roll in silence. It would have been a great place to end the series, but it would return two years later for a final run.

Funniest moment - Alan hits Piers on the head. "There. Now you'll have a birth mark to match Gorby's.".


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