Nearly Departed (TV Series)

Grandpa's Date (1989)

Henderson Forsythe: Grandpa Jack Garrett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grandpa Jack Garrett : How do I look?

  Grant Pritchard : Same as usual. Pale, sweaty, like you're about to fall down.

• Helen McCormick : Your son-in-law gave you quite a build-up, you know.

  Grandpa Jack Garrett : Uh, yeah, well, I gotta be frank with you. It's been a long time since I did anything like this.

  Grant Pritchard : No, no, don't tell her that! Sounds like you've spent the last ten years chained in a closet with someone named Igor.

• Grandpa Jack Garrett : Are you hungry or do you wanna sit and talk for a while?

  Helen McCormick : Whatever you want is fine with me.

  Grant Pritchard : Perfect! Tell her you wanna grab a bottle of wine and go back to her place.

• Grant Pritchard : Now come on, Grandpa, tell her something interesting about yourself. Tell her you just climbed the Himalayas and spotted Elvis. You had brunch with Prince Charles. You were pearl-diving off the Grand Caymans with a long-legged model named Monique. Anything interesting.

  Grandpa Jack Garrett : I once took a Red Ball Express all the way to Denver.

  Grant Pritchard : I don't believe it. It's like coaching fungus.

• Liz Dooley : You shouldn't be dating anyone. It's too soon after mom's funeral.

  Grandpa Jack Garrett : Honey, your mom died in 1978.

• Grandpa Jack Garrett : She'll be here any second! How's the chow coming?

  Grant Pritchard : Chow? Mate, I cook gourmet cuisine. "Chow" is cooked by black-toothed geezers called Stumpy.

  Grandpa Jack Garrett : Sorry, I just don't want the lady to think I make bad grub!