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"NCIS" Light Sleeper (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

Quotes

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: A good investigator doesn't sit around. He assumes everything he's been told is false until it checks out. I want you to check every possible lead, every possible angle.

Special Agent Timothy McGee: On it, Boss.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: There's only one time I want you to stop, McGee.

Special Agent Timothy McGee: When you tell me.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No! When you're satisfied! When YOU'RE SATISIFIED!

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[last lines]

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Tony, Ziva, about what happened back at the bomb...

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You don't have to say it boss, we know how you feel about us.

Officer Ziva David: Gibbs, we're a team, that's what we do.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I was going to say: If either one of you two wingnuts ever disobey a direct order again, I'll kill you myself.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [pause] That's our boss.

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo, I want to know about anybody in the area who's made threats against Koreans, foreign Marine wives, or women.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, is that all?

[Gibbs kicks DiNozzo's desk]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: On it boss!

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [to McGee after giving DiNozzo and Ziva their orders] Come on, you're with me Elf Lord.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: They're evacuating the building, boss and the a... ah... That's a really big bomb.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You think, DiNozzo?

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Officer Ziva David: This is not one of your stupid action movies, Tony.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No, it isn't. If it was you'd be dressed differently.

Officer Ziva David: And you'd be far better looking.

[McGee laughs]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [to McGee] You'd be dead by the opening credits!

Special Agent Timothy McGee: Did you ever stop to think that maybe I am the plucky comic relief?

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [about their sensitivity training] There's gotta be a way out of this. Maybe I could injure myself.

[Ziva bends back one of his fingers]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: OW!

Officer Ziva David: What I was only trying to help.

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Jimmy Palmer: I always say, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family.

Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: There's a touch of the poet in you, Mr. Palmer.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'd say you're just more touched.

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Gina Goodwin: I guess the polite term, Agent DiNozzo, would be "bastard." He was always borrowing my husband's tools and never returning them. I should've known something like this would happen.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Stealing tools is not really a prerequisite for murder, Mrs. Goodwin.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What are you an expert on interviews now?

Officer Ziva David: Interviews, no. Interrogation techniques, yes.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Like hooking a car battery up to a guy's privates? I'm sure it's effective, but judges tend to frown on it.

Officer Ziva David: I've learned from Gibbs that in certain cases you can attract far more bees with honey.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Flies.

Officer Ziva David: What do flies have to do with honey?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Flies don't like vinegar.

Officer Ziva David: Vinegar?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's complicated.

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Special Agent Timothy McGee: Not exactly groundbreaking police work there.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [smacks the back of McGee's head] She's not done yet.

Abby Sciuto: Thank you, Gibbs.

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Tell me I didn't just smack McGee for no good reason.

Abby Sciuto: You didn't just smack McGee for no good reason.

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Special Agent Timothy McGee: [Abby punches his arm] What was that for?

Abby Sciuto: For mocking my groundbreaking police work.

Special Agent Timothy McGee: I wasn't mocking your -

[Abby makes a fist]

Special Agent Timothy McGee: It won't happen again.

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [as DiNozzo is talking about celebrity gossip] DiNozzo, shut up.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Shutting up, Boss.

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Special Agent Timothy McGee: Boss, did you find her?

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, McGee. She's hiding in my coffee cup.

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [to McGee] You know, the FBI does not exist solely to piss me off. Sometimes they can be useful.

[Dials his cell phone]

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey, Fornell! I've got one right up your jurisdiction.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Like my father always said, "Be careful who you marry, Anthony. She may end up being a homicidal maniac."

Special Agent Timothy McGee: Your father actually said that to you?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No, but I'm pretty sure he thought it.

Officer Ziva David: Probably he knew your taste in women.

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [about the murder weapon] Bullets?

Abby Sciuto: Um, cross-point .40-caliber Smith & Wesson, also called a "Short and Wimpy," although I do not know why.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: They lack the power of a 10mm Auto load.

Abby Sciuto: Yeah, I guess you don't need a lot of stopping power when you're gunning down housewives.

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What about gunshot residue?

Abby Sciuto: The instant shooter kit came back negative on Porter's skin, shirt, and pants.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Could've worn gloves...

Abby Sciuto: Or he could've changed his clothes. I'm way ahead of you, Gibbs. That's why I'm doing a full analysis on all of Porter's wardrobe.

[as Gibbs]

Abby Sciuto: How long, Abby?

[as herself]

Abby Sciuto: Well it's gonna take some time. And since this stuff doesn't smell very good, I don't think laundry was a priority...

[as Gibbs]

Abby Sciuto: Abs!

[as herself]

Abby Sciuto: Um, two hours. Whenever I know something, you'll know something.

[as Gibbs]

Abby Sciuto: You got one! Anything else?

[as herself]

Abby Sciuto: Yes, as a matter of fact. This is for you.

[hands Gibbs a coffee]

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Why?

Abby Sciuto: For getting me out of sensitivity training. We were about to do trust falls and those guys in administration have wandering hands.

[as Gibbs]

Abby Sciuto: Just give me their names, Abs, and I'll break 'em for you!

[as herself]

Abby Sciuto: I know you will, Gibbs. And that is why I love you.

[Gibbs gives her a peck on the cheek]

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Do you think it was a hate crime?

Special Agent Timothy McGee: No. I definitely don't think it was a hate crime. In my experience there's only one color in the Marines.

Officer Ziva David: By what I've seen of your Marine Corps, it's ethnically diverse.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: He means green, Ziva, and I think he's right.

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Officer Ziva David: I've learned from Gibbs that you can sometimes attract more bees with honey.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: "Flies."

Officer Ziva David: What do flies have to do with honey?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: They... don't like... vinegar.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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