Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [about Fran] She thinks you're a killer. She even thought you were trying to kill me.
Niles: Oh, I wouldn't even dream of touching you, like any other normal man.
Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Nanny Fine, hearing you talk about Niles just makes me want to slam my head against a brick wall.
[hits her head against the shoulder of Fran's brick suit]
Fran Fine: I think Niles might be a murderer!
Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Nanny Fine, Niles would never kill anyone, then he'd make a mess and he'd have to clean it up.
Fran Fine: Look at that, he wears the same thing everyday, just like Fred Flintstone.
Fran Fine: I saw the list. You explain Secure Alibi.
Niles: That was the title.
Fran Fine: What about the morgue?
Niles: I was doing research.
Fran Fine: Well what about the bananas?
Niles: I was making a pie!
Fran Fine: ...Well where is it?
Niles: Your mother was here.
Fran Fine: Honey, don't scratch like that. People will think you have lice.
Grace Sheffield: I do. My school sent home a letter.
Fran Fine: [gasps] You got head lice, at your 14 THOUSAND dollar a year school.
Fran Fine: Vermin they give you but you still gotta bring your own juice.
Niles: Why can't I be more like him? I'm as smart as he is, as talented as he is. Who came up with this system of the haves and the have nots?
Fran Fine: Uh, that would be the haves.
Niles: I'm glad we're alone.
Fran Fine: Yeah. Just you, me, and that piercing voice that CARRIES TO THE NEIGHBOURS!