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(TV Series)

(2001)

Quotes

Philthy: How come every time I come over to see you guys, it's like I'm walking into a spy movie?

Cleo Bellows: Well, maybe it's because some people have more on their minds than the latest muscle car magazine.

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Tailor: [at Alex'/Osiris' funeral] Lovely affair, don't you think? These Egyptians really know how to throw a party. I must say, though, the guest of honor doesn't seem to be enjoying himself, does he?

Matt Bellows: If I could get my hands on you, there'd be two funerals today.

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Tailor: When all is said and done and I get my full power back, I'll find you a place in a nice, violent myth to work off all that aggression, killing and being killed till the end of time.

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Tailor: Even demons have feelings, you know. How else could one be sure to cause so much suffering if one didn't have a certain amount of empathy?

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Cleo Bellows: Both you and I know that Gorgos did something. He changed the myth somehow.

Matt Bellows: I intend to thank him properly if I ever get the chance.

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Set: People of Egypt, behold the man who killed your beloved king.

Matt Bellows: What?

Set: He is a foreigner and a wizard. Only his death will avenge the murder of the beloved Osiris.

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Cleo Bellows: Where'd you learn to fight like that?

Matt Bellows: You don't spend as much time as I have dealing with the crooked, two-way, shady antiquities brokers without learning how to take care of yourself.

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Matt Bellows: The Egyptians believe that the Ka, the spirit, couldn't pass into the afterlife if the body wasn't intact.

Cleo Bellows: So, what are you saying?

Matt Bellows: Later in the Osiris myth, Set cuts Osiris' body into fourteen pieces to prevent it from entering the next world. That's why we have to get there first. Once Alex is back home safely, Set can do anything with Osiris that the myth needs him to do.

Cleo Bellows: Maybe I'm glad you didn't tell me this earlier.

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Cleo Bellows: Asher, is there something you're not telling us?

Max Asher: Uh, what do you mean?

Alex Bellows: We've become experts at not saying what we wish we could say.

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Matt Bellows: According to the story, when Osiris's sarcophagus reached Phoenicia, the god of the great green sea wanted to make a suitable resting place. He sent waves to throw the coffin onto the shore and planted a tamarisk tree underneath it. Almost overnight, the tree grew around the sarcophagus to protect it.

Cleo Bellows: You're telling me that Alex is inside that tree?

Matt Bellows: Queen Astarte heard about the tree, which was known far and wide as the most beautiful in the land. She had it transplanted to sit right here in her court.

Cleo Bellows: [sighs] Great. So all we need to do is tell her we're gonna cut down her centerpiece and go.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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