- [the movie's characters are coughing in a smoke-filled cave]
- Joel Robinson: [stoner voice] Oh man, that's good weed.
- Crow T. Robot: [a piece of wood falls into the river and the children look concerned] "No! My piece of wood! It died so that we might live."
- Tom Servo: [the ape bad guy is screaming that he must have his revenge] Yeah, you should have your Valium too, buddy.